There is a scene in Lawrence of Arabia where Peter O’Toole is trying to persuade Tayi, a sheikh played by Anthony Qunn, to provide men for a treacherous desert crossing to Aqaba to wrest it away from the Turks. The desert is so formidable that the Turks do not have any guns facing it. The Arabs think this is an insane scheme because they think it is a suicide mission and they will all die before they even get there. Then O’Toole says, “Tayi will not cross the desert because I wish him to, or the British wish him to. Tayi will cross the desert because it pleases him.” (The dialogue is approximate.) Quinn responds by saying “Thy mother was a scorpion …” but he sends his men.

So it is that I Googled photos of Boehner, Bachman, Palin, Beck and Limbaugh, printed them out, cut them to size, pasted them on a cardboard, and stuck pins in strategic places. It’s sitting on a side table as an art object for the time being. It’s not that I necessarily think they all have headaches now (a pin between each pair of eyes to start and a couple in the nether regions of the guys), but it pleased me to do this.

Years ago I used to “please” myself to sleep by imagining images of several people who I knew wished me ill, breaking up as a picture puzzle breaks up. I outlasted them at the Company. I did this without drama, no anger, no emotion – just the quiet demise of my enemies.

For the most part, I don’t think about occult practice, but it occurred to me that since I am retired and need something to do, I might try this. I tried some feng shui a while ago. Seeking to mend relations between my b.i.l. and Ed, I followed instructions, wrote their names on a piece of paper, wrapped it in plastic, and put it in the freezer. The object was to “cool” hot tempers. It is now 5 years later and nothing has cooled. So much for that.

Also, I put small mirrors facing out in windows and low on the sliders, the point being to deflect ill will beamed at you back to the sender. In our New York apartment once, Ed opened the drapes in our den and saw the mirror and asked what it was doing there. I explained. Ed is notoriously un-fey, and unsquirrelry. He started to make a face, paused, replaced the mirror in the window and said, “What the Hell…”

I hope you, as friends, will be frank and say out loud if you think I need help. :)

xx, Teal