When Ed and I moved to this little island in 2003 to live permanently, I knew it would be our last big change and as I looked around me at the beautiful sea, the birds, the lush landscape, I thought, “But this is Paradise. No one dies here, do they?”

Well it appears there is just as much dysfunction and sorrow here as anywhere. One couple who lived 5 minutes away came to a sad end. He was losing cognition. His daughter, who disliked her stepmother, wanted him to leave her and come live with her in Iowa. But he had no money, it was all his wife’s. He was overheard on the phone telling his daughter he would come soon, he had a plan. One night, friends of ours who lived next door to him, heard shots. Over they ran, and they saw him with a gun, and the wife was down but alive, and she said, “He shot me! Well, he was caught in the act, so he turned the gun on himself and they both died.

It turns out his plan was to murder his wife, blame it on an intruder, and then buy a big RV with his inheritance and go live near his daughter. Like I said, he was losing it. And I feel like telling that daughter “Well, was this what you had in mind?” Of course, she could not inherit. The house went to a grand nephew of the wife and he has sold it.

A while back, while visiting my friend John and his dog, Buster, I met Kevin, a fellow of about 37. Very pleasant, nice looking. He had a large dog and a tiny dog. He’d bring them over. They would all try to climb into my lap. The three of us would chat. Kevin confided a lot in John. As for John, it was very nice indeed to know Kevin who came over almost daily and took the loneliness out of his life. John is my age with a lot of medical problems.

John told me, after he died, that Kevin had been fighting an illness hard to diagnose and could not hold a job. His live-in girl was supporting the both of them and, apparently, was beginning to think Kevin was a deadbeat and would give him a hard time. So about three months or so ago, while his girlfriend was at work, Kevin hung himself in their garage. She came home and found him and had hysterics. John was devastated. As for me, I couldn’t help wondering if I had known more about him, whether I could have done more than just chat.

Then there was Ron and his dog, Skip, a yellow lab. Earlier in my time here, I would stop and chat with him while he was walking Skip. He had some medical problems, and Skip, bless him, also had a rocky time of it. But Ron sank into a depression and didn’t encourage chit chat in recent years. Sensing he wanted to keep his distance, I’d just wave and smile and say a couple of words as I continued by him. His wife, Elsie, was friendly and I would see her in their driveway and we would chat.

But Ron’s depression deepened. Two nights ago, he drove his car onto the Midpoint Bridge (Cape Coral to Fort Myers), and left the motor running so that police would know it wasn’t just broken down. He left a note. He then wrapped himself in chains and jumped into the Caloosahatchee. It is a huge river opening into the Gulf. (Hatchee means river in the Calusa language.) I learned about it last night and phoned Elsie. She was uncannily calm and said she was “fine”. I stopped to see her today and she told me he had talked of suicide but so often people don’t believe anything will come of that kind of talk. Wrong again. Their son is coming in from Ohio and they will have a service there but not here.

Ron’s death is haunting me. I not only feel for Elsie, but I am thinking how desperate he must have felt to take his life.

Ed said that Elsie should have had him Baker acted. That (for those of you unfamiliar with the term) is when you call the police and they take you to a lockdown medical facility for a minimum incarceration of about three days. You are observed and treated before you harm yourself or someone else.

I have a friend with bipolar illness, who has, from time to time, Baker acted herself when she has gotten depressed.

Meanwhile, Kathy, who owns Mimi’s Boutique at the end of my street (a half hour walk to get there) is closing. It is not a good location because it is not near the other shops and she couldn’t make a go of it. She will have a going-out-of business sale this Thursday. I called when I saw her sign (the store has been closed all week), and she was sad and a little removed. I have the sense that she won’t want to stay in touch. I could be wrong. I had come to look forward to visiting her once or twice a week. Maybe it was just a convenience acquaintance and not one to pursue. We always had really good conversations. I’ll sound her out when I see her again, but I’ll let her go without rancor if that is what she wants.

So much for Paradise.

xx, Teal