Teal

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Teal
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Teal's Modest Adventures

Life & Events > Relationships > Being on Lists and Another Relationship
 

Being on Lists and Another Relationship

I get lots of politically oriented E mail that started when I contributed to Hillary Clinton’s campaign and later to the Obama campaign. The contact put me on their mailing list and they gave my name to cooperating Democratic organizations and members of the administration who send me E mails to keep me up to date. Many of them have a “contribute” paragraph. In the interests of personal solvency, I don't. As for the info, I already know most of what they say from the news programs and newspaper, so to save my sanity and add years to my life, I delete all of them, yes, all of them, without looking at them.

I also signed petitions to save animals and now I am on several lists who also want me to sign more petitions and contribute. I delete all of these too. I don’t take advantage of their “unsubscribe” feature because I am in favor of what they are doing and my contribution is to let them E mail me but ignore them.

I’ve written before that good deeds especially when money is involved often escalate to where you are a target for many groups. I have now trained myself not to feel guilty when I press the delete button. Try it. It’s liberating.

Segue
Yesterday Ed and I had an early dinner with friends and he left to keep an appointment with his foreign student to whom he is teaching English. The student couldn't make it any other day. I stayed on chatting with my hosts and the other guest. My hostess is a dear friend. I have confided in her. Occasionally her advice, coming from her perspective, is not comfortable. It isn’t that she’s right and I am wrong or the reverse, it is that she is oblivious to the thought that she is saying hurtful things. I then find myself wondering if this isn’t passive-aggressive hostility. I’ve done some of this in my life but stopped doing it 50 years ago. I try to be aware of my subliminal motivation.

Anyway, I have been brooding about things for a day or so and have decided to just let it go since the positives in this friendship outweigh the now-and-then dark side. As for further confidences, I think I’ll pass for a while.

xx, Teal

posted on June 30, 2010 4:36 PM ()

Comments:

I used to contribute to the World Wildlife Fund, the Nature Conservancy etc. and they beseige me with mailings and address labels and pleas for money. I finally learned to say no but still feel guilty--thankfully I never got on the e-mail lists for politicallly oriented causes.
comment by susil on July 7, 2010 2:50 PM ()
As for friendships, sometimes women are jealous of someone who is together.
Be careful with confidences. I only have one friend I share them with.
comment by elderjane on July 1, 2010 6:41 AM ()
I have the same problem. I don't give out my email address because of the
spam but I get letter after letter from the Democratic party and from animal rights organizations. I don't open the animal ones because they are so heart rending but I do send a check occasionally.
comment by elderjane on July 1, 2010 6:40 AM ()
Friendships are a challenge sometimes, but worth it if there is give and take, and you don't end up doing all the giving.
comment by troutbend on June 30, 2010 9:38 PM ()
My rather well-off buddy (and there is only one in this category) contributed liberally to the Obama campaign. Now they call on the phone asking for money to further the Democratic agenda. He made it clear that they are to stop calling and he will contribute when he sees fit. Apparently that knew what was the right thing to do. They no longer call.
comment by jjoohhnn on June 30, 2010 6:28 PM ()
Some people just don't know how to say things tactfully. Your friend sounds as though she might fall into that category. I have one e-mail site that I give to anyone whom I think may sell it. It saves me a lot of time and automatically moves any e-mail more than 30 days old to junk mail. About once every six months I go over there and clean it up.
comment by redimpala on June 30, 2010 5:08 PM ()

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