I’m chipping away at solutions to help me get a complete night’s sleep. I bought a bed lounger that looks like an upholstered chair back and arms -- no seat, no legs. People use it so they can sit up in bed to read. I need it because a complete lying down position for me results in severe back and leg pain. So far, it’s really helping.

I bought a steam inhaler to help clear my nasal passages and use it at night before going to bed, along with a couple of prescription nasal sprays. I have the remnants of a deviated septum that was supposedly corrected back in the 90s. Apparently not enough because I can still be awakened with severe eye pain due to a blocked sinus.

My doctor says I should not use a sleep aid because it can make my mild sleep apnea worse. So I took Aleve for a while. The new positional remedy now makes it possible for me to dispense with the Aleve.

Now we get to me, personally and my screwed up inner mental state. I have just entered, after a hiatus, a new period of nightmares. Last night I saw female faces about to attack me. I mean I wake up and there is this apparition. They are not pretty. They are hags, incredibly, unbelievably ugly hags. These apparitions have varied over the years. This is a new one.

I yelled out and Ed said “You’re hallucinating, go back to sleep.”

What a curmudgeon. No, “There, there dear, I’m here to protect you.” Zip, zilch, nada. Lucky I am self sustaining.

So while I was washing up and doing make-up this morning, I remembered the faces and decided to have one of my periodic talks with my psyche. I am looking at myself in the mirror and it goes something like this:

“Listen kiddo, I don’t know what is up with you and we’ve had this talk before and I wish you’d just remember that when you make me miserable and sleepless we both suffer. You’d think you’d want to do the healthy thing for me, but, no, you’ve got to send these Godawful images to ruin my sleep and worry me. Well, good luck with that. I’m not worried, but I would like to wake up feeling rested. So get with the program: a healthy me helps both of us – the inner me and the me telling you how it is. Basically, shape up.”

Well, I go on in this vein for a while and hope it will sink in. It does help. I may be okay now for a couple of months.

Xx, Teal