1/1/15

Why do you always have to editorialize? He means express opinions about public figures I disagree with or want to criticize. I say it’s the journalist in me. Or, I have opinions and it is my right to express them.

Recently we watched an old Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn movie on late night TV, “Adam’s Rib”. They are opposing lawyers and when she takes on the defense for a woman who shot her husband that her husband is prosecuting, he is furious. The film is full of male chauvinism and, let’s face it, was made before the woman’s movement when characters like those played by John Wayne and Charleton Heston were puritanical and always got the girl anyway and (vomit) were admired for their medieval treatment of women.

I opined afterward that I don’t know why Spencer Tracy never divorced his wife to marry Hepburn since they had a years-long affair until his death. Ed said it was because Tracy and his wife were Catholic. It seems to me that God, his wife (the long-suffering runner up for his affections), and Hepburn, content with part of a loaf, were the losers, and Tracy the “have my cake and eat it too” king was the beneficiary of this arrangement. I don’t think his faith was honored if he was all right with disrespecting his marriage vows, his wife wasn’t honored, since I am sure she got a lot less of him than she would have liked, Hepburn wasn’t honored because she never had the commitment that his love should have bestowed on her and I dare say spent at least some of the time being really sad about it. I know I would have felt the absence of a total relationship. Tracy, hats and horns, the winner. Pardon me if I think he was an asshole.

One of Ed’s new wards just lost her husband of 65 years. By all accounts they were a devoted couple and he was a capable and competent husband who did everything for his wife and she loved being taken care of. He was very smart about their finances so she has more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of her time. She doesn’t even know that and keeps asking Ed, “Can I afford this …” Although Ed claims she was a successful secretary and worked for the chief executive of a large corporation, she never, ever wrote a check and doesn’t know how. (I’m wondering what she did on her job – sit at her desk and look pretty?) She owns a car, but never drove beyond passing the driver’s test in 1960 (sic). Ed says she is a really sweet person, not a mean bone in her body, has southern charm, and he goes to great lengths to make sure she will make the transition to an assisted living facility without difficulty. On her last visit to the hospital to see her husband, a trip of an hour one-way, minimum, she forgot her cane. Ed went back to get it, total time 3 hours because he had to deliver it to her on Pine Island. A friend asked why he just couldn’t have gone to Walgreen’s and bought her another one.

I made so bold as to say I thought she’d lived half a life. Ed thought it was okay because she was happy. I don't think it was okay and said so.

My sis, also totally taken care of by her husband, was proud of the fact that she didn’t have to do anything in the house, particularly after she was laid low with years-long shingles pain (that finally did kill her because she couldn’t exercise). Sis was also proud of the fact that her husband knew everything so she didn’t have to think for herself, and always took his side when he dumped on me for my political opinions, telling me that I should listen to him because he was so knowledgeable and I couldn't possibly be right if I disagreed with him. I refrained from saying, “Just because you married a Nazi doesn’t mean I have to be his victim.” When people you care about are that clueless, it is cruel to make them face reality. Anyway, in later life, he was her only game in town, so I didn't want to mess with that.

People are entitled to their accommodations. I am entitled to voice my opinions. Right-wing thinkers are convinced they hold the high ground and don't even realize they are disrespecting our democracy.