I don’t know how to write this. I am beside myself with grief. Brunswick’s small rally was a brief respite as he responded to the treatment of symptoms. But he again stopped eating. The only thing he wants is milk – many cats are lactose intolerant. So am I and I have Lactaid on hand, so I have been giving him as much as he wants.

Our vet sent us to a kitty oncologist more than an hour away. Results are in and he has an inoperable cancer in his nose reaching back to the brain. He is still walking, sits out on the patio in the sun the whole day, is affectionate and sweet. Radiation might help but will make him sick and will not buy him much time.

Today, at 3 p.m., we will take him to the vet and put him to sleep. He is not comfortable and he will only get worse. If we do nothing, he will have more trouble breathing, and will be dead of starvation within days. He is already painfully thin and getting weaker. We gave him his phenobarbital last night. We don’t know how long it takes to have a seizure when it is not given and we didn’t want him to endure that. I don’t think we will give him his morning dose today.

I was up till 2 a.m. last night, afraid to go to bed. Finally, I picked him up with his blanket where he was on the sofa, and put him on our headboard. I had to have him nearby for his last night. He was happy to stay.

Today is the pits. And many tomorrows as well. Ed is as devastated as I am. He is very bonded to Brunz.

xx, Teal