My recent post about the invasive psychological questionnaire about creativity has triggered my thoughts on the psychology of friendship and its expectations. I am feeling invaded and so I am ranting.

When I was at Harper & Row, I was friends with one of the jacket designers and we had friends in common outside the company. In my visits to the production floor, I would often stop by his cubicle and chat. He was also a photographer and sculptor and once suggested that he photograph me in ballet poses. I was not offended by the idea until he made it clear he wanted me to be pose in the nude. I declined, picturing in my mind, me in an arabesque or attitude (with leg curled behind) and him delighting in these open-crotch shots. Then he pulled that oh-so-lame manipulative ploy that, gee, he thought I was more free-spirited, daring, and “modern” than to be so shy and “repressed”. Well, I responded, with a grin, that’s me, repressed. Da noive.

Once at a retreat with my then employer at his house on a Maine lake, one of his clients was also there. He suggested we all go skinny dipping and I said, enjoy yourselves, but without me. He, too, tried this are you repressed gambit. And, I smiled and said, yes, indeed, very. Like I’d disrobe for this creep-o.

Back to that questionnaire, if one has chosen to be analyzed, if one has chosen to delve into the recesses of one’s own mind with a therapist or counselor, or as part of a course in creative self examination (if there are such things), then one might expect to spend a year or two digging into one’s psyche for these responses and writing a thesis on them, for, is he stupid?, that is what is involved. But for a casual acquaintance to suggest that he should be privy to your innermost thoughts about yourself is very close to emotional seduction or rape.

I don’t know how the other students are reacting to this request. Most are in my age range but they are not all that sophisticated and are inclined to be teapartyish in their politics and homespun in their devotions, with one or two exceptions.

Toni, my German friend, is also in the class, and is devoted to Stan. I can’t wait to talk with her. Nadine thinks she will ignore the questionnaire because she doesn’t do homework of any kind. Bless her. Until this plays itself out in my mind, I will continue to learn more about it and may write what I learn if I think it has any interest.

Xx, Teal