'Twas A Week After Christmas
& I Ate Too Much


'Twas a Week after Christmas,
and all through the house
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.




The cookies I'd nibbled,
the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.




When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber).




I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."




As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"




So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.




I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.




I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!






Happy Cooking,
Sum