Barb

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Username:
sumkindabich
Name:
Barb
Location:
Laconia, NH
Birthday:
04/04
Status:
Married
Job / Career:
Manufacturing

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Food & Drink > This and That ...
 

This and That ...

Final Confession

Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.
She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."

"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

The Living Statues

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.

Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"















I took a vacation day today. Sis is off to go visit family out West. I'm bummed but she needs to do this. I hate good-byes.

Gonna make stuffed pork chops and mashed potatoes for supper, the all time comfort meal for me. It's the meal that hubby proposed to me over. I won his heart on that night, lucky me!!!

I'll be back.

Happy Cooking,
Sum


posted on Aug 1, 2008 6:03 AM ()

Comments:

hilarious stuff Barb. Just 'amember...yer gonna be serving those delicious stuffed pork chops at State dinners after November when I win the Oval Office and you become Executive Chef at the White House.

reguards
yer we'll invite the Saudi Royal Family (heh heh) pal
bugg
comment by honeybugg on Aug 1, 2008 6:34 PM ()
I had that but not this
comment by fredo on Aug 1, 2008 12:26 PM ()
comment by nittineedles on Aug 1, 2008 9:40 AM ()
Yum! What time should I head over there?
comment by jerms on Aug 1, 2008 6:37 AM ()

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