Hayduke's last "pet peeve" about never meeting his father's expectations spurred me to write this post. I recently wrote that my father was the greatest influence on my life, and he was. Ironically, a large measure of that influence turns out to be a reversal in his "ways".

I've tried not to be prejudiced as he has shown himself to be. I've been sure to praise my children in ways he was never able to do. Never once has he ever told me he was proud of my accomplishments. Or if he did, it was in the form of "Well, at least you didn't blah blah blah."

I am like my father in many ways, but so different in others. I never became a business man ("You don't want to become a teacher, do you?"). I can't play jazz piano by ear. I'm not a skilled carpenter. I know little about cars (he was a car dealer). This list could go on and on. I've tried to tell him our differences make us unique, but he continues to throw it back in my face.

I love my dad. He's a great guy--really. I enjoy being around him. But when he's NEVER ONCE told me he loves me or that he's proud of me, that can't help but hurt. Like I said, I all too frequently tell my kids I love them and give them encouragement. Words of praise can go a long way.