Randy

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solitaire
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Randy
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Par For The Course

Life & Events > End of Autumn
 

End of Autumn

I think I can officially state that Autumn is over. It occurred at 10:30 PM last night as a cold front swept through Indiana. Temps went from 60 to 40 in ten minutes. The 7 day forecast is for below average temperatures--30's and 40's.

No more golf, gardening, walking. Only wood cutting and splitting--and only when it "warms up".

On Thanksgiving day, I helped my SIL paint his house to be. He sprayed while I trimmed. I used to paint houses in the summer. I enjoy doing it for several reasons. We had some good conversations. Nate is a great guy and I'm lucky to have him.

One conversation revolved around my ex-wife, his MIL. We both can hardly stand to be around her. We just tolerate the situation. I'm sorely tempted to "discuss" this issue with my daughter--the issue being my ex is ubiquitous! She was even at my family's Thanksgiving gathering--4 hours worth.

After she spent another 4 hours at my own house the day before, I've just about reach my tolerance limit. She's making a nuisance of herself. What can or should I do? I've written a letter in my mind to my daughter regarding my feelings. Should I flat out tell her? I don't want to put her in the middle, but yet I can't stand her (ex) presence anymore. Her worthless husband (whom she left me for) even tags along on occasion. My blood pressure is at stake, let alone my sanity. Advice?

Returning to my main topic, yes, winter is here. Christmas ads, Frosty and Charlie Brown and Rudolph time on TV. Nothing but "Black Friday" on the news. I'm not a gift giver, so that doesn't affect me. I certainly don't need more stress in my life, especially after 4 days of grandkids, ex-wives, a cantankerous father, and crazy sisters (all attending Thanksgiving).

I'm locking the doors and staying "solitaire" for the long weekend! I may calm down before it's over. Thanks for listening. Have a good one.

posted on Nov 23, 2012 6:00 AM ()

Comments:

comment by kristilyn3 on Nov 26, 2012 6:11 PM ()
Youse was being sarcastic, yes? Don't be too quick to think I just must always criticize. The best way to vanquish an enemy is to make that enemy a friend.
comment by tealstar on Nov 24, 2012 6:14 AM ()
oh dear you have got a problem or two -- spring here has turned to summer been high 30sC here all this week ( is why we came home for aircon) and is the same all next week, 38 deg at port augusta last week--am now showing my white lily legs by wearing shorts but they will brown up quick
comment by kevinshere on Nov 23, 2012 10:00 PM ()
I'm always embarrassed when I go to Florida in February to show off my "lily white legs"!!
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:48 AM ()
I find it hard to believe that one person in a crowd could ruin any evening I am a part of. Ask yourself why she needs to be at these events. She needs family, just as you appear to. Is she disruptive? Does she seek you out and recreate the past? Is she annoying to everyone? You have built up a thing about her. As for your son-in-law, he should try that too. Instead of building on resentment, build on whatever is there that can be saved. What? Total Miss Hitler? I find that hard to believe.
comment by tealstar on Nov 23, 2012 2:03 PM ()
Thanks for your understanding and sympathy.
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:46 AM ()
Who invited ex to your house? Could daughters see her at her house, not yours? I think you have to share your feelings with daughters. Easy for me to say, though.
comment by boots586 on Nov 23, 2012 11:03 AM ()
It was one of those "Is it alright if...". Trying to be a good guy, and because it was convenient, I said okay. I also knew I was going to be gone golfing. (Still, she came before I left and was still here when I returned.) I'm a reasonable guy, but my limits are being stretched. I went to the drugstore yesterday, and who was there? My visiting daughter and my ex!!!!!!!! Horrors of horrors. I about lost it.
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:45 AM ()
After the five days I was away in Chicago for my dear sister-in-law's funeral, I returned home to see that almost all of the last deciduous tree leaves have fallen, save one fully leafed orange maple in my neighbor's yard across the way, which stands out like a candle flame. A sign of hope and tomorrow at this sad, bittersweet time.

I suggest after you calm down and decompress from your holiday experience, if you can discuss how this situation with your ex makes you feel with your daughter without being confrontational (using "I" language not "you" language) or losing your temper, then have a conversation about it. Try and preserve the relationships that are important to you.
comment by marta on Nov 23, 2012 10:35 AM ()
Thanks. I brought up my "situation" with my visiting daughter (who leaves today), and I think she'll intercede by preempting my planned discussion with my "at home" daughter, with something like "Dad's not happy".... We'll see.
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:38 AM ()
You need to work this out with the family.There is no need of this.
I know your trying to be a nice guy for the family,but need to to something.
comment by fredo on Nov 23, 2012 10:11 AM ()
I've talked to my Honduran daughter about my plight and feelings. She understands and will intervene somehow. Progress will be made!
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:33 AM ()
In the future, ask if she will be there and tell your family that if your ex is present, then you respectfully decline to attend. That will clearly tell them where you stand without making them un-invite her. Your family probably thinks that your lack of protest means that you are ok with her being there.
comment by dragonflyby on Nov 23, 2012 8:08 AM ()
Not only there has been a lack of protest, but I usually say "okay", just because I want to be a nice guy, not a meany. Plus, I don't want to put my kids in a position of being in the middle--either/or. Of course, they ARE in the middle. Believe me, I have considered your suggestion.
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:32 AM ()
I can understand why winter means no more golf or gardening, but why no more walking? I'm sure you have some warm winter clothing. It was 34 when I went out this morning; I just layered up. ** Aside from what you haven't told your daughter, have you told your ex that you can't stand her and don't want her coming around? Sometimes obnoxious people don't realized the ill feelings they produce and, if they knew, might avoid the situation to salvage their own ego.
comment by steve on Nov 23, 2012 7:50 AM ()
Obnoxious is a good word to describe my ex! No, I haven't said anything to her and don't intend to. I think the word will get out. I told my visiting daughter about the situation. She was very supporting--never once defended her mother.
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:27 AM ()
Thankful for the fact that my 2nd ex is 2800 miles away in Long Beach CA. I can imagine the pain and sympathize with you.
comment by jondude on Nov 23, 2012 6:57 AM ()
'Tis the season to be thankful. I am, in most respects. At least my second wife is "long gone".
reply by solitaire on Nov 24, 2012 5:24 AM ()

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