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Hi everybody. This is Brody/Buddy. My Auntie Bugg came over last night to stay with me and my sister Daisy May and my brother Jethro. My mommy went to something called a "wedding" and she asked Auntie Bugg if she would sit with us. Right now, everyone is having breakfast so I thought I'd sneak back into Mommy's room and play with this thing. Mommy and Auntie Bugg play with it all the time so it must be fun. I wonder if I can sneak it out to the back yard and bury it before they notice? Mebee if I chewed it up into little pieces like I did Jethro's "Nemo" chair or Daisy's "Barbie" blanket.
You might wonder why I have two names. Well, Mommy named me Brody when I first came to live here but Daisy kept calling me "Buddy" for some reason. She'd run around after me yelling "buddy...buddy...buddy". So I go by both. I also answer to my real name.."No-no-bad-dog"
I really love Auntie Bugg. She pets me a lot and gives me delicious treats like pizza crusts, potato chips, and vienna sausages. She is such a soft touch. All I have to do is put my head on her knee and give her the old "no body ever feeds me" look. Of course then Mommy sees this and yells at me "No-no-bad-dog. Stop begging. You have dog food in your dish. Eat that." Then she turns on Auntie Bugg. "Auntie Bugg I wish you'd stop that. That's why he begs all the time. I don't know why you continue to...." At this point I usually leave the room because it usually gets louder and louder because then Auntie Bugg asks Mommy who the hell she thinks she is to talk to her that way and reminds Mommy that she used to change her (Mommy's) diapers and that being the case Mommy should just relax and have a big ol' cup of shut the fuck up. That must be the hot, dark, good smelling stuff Mommy drinks in the morning when she wakes up. Auntie Bugg sure uses that "fuck" word a lot though. Daisy repeated it once and Mommy got upset. She told Auntie Bugg to try and watch her mouth in front of the babies because she didn't want them going to daycare dropping "eff bombs." I was confused about that.
But anyhoo, Auntie Bugg spent the night. She fell asleep on the sofa watching "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". She sat there with her head back, making this funny sound out of her nose and drooling down her chin. Ewww, that was so gross! Humans do the most disgusting things imaginable. Oh, hold on one minute...I have to lick my butt....................ok, I'm back. I keep getting the feeling something's missing there. I don't really...oh yeah now I remember. Last time I went for a ride in the car Mommy took me to this awfull place she calls "the vet". It smells of strange stuff and other dogs and, God forbid, cats. There are these ladies in white coats there who seem nice at first then they jab you with sharp skinny things that they call "shots" and stick another thing up your butt that they call "good...no temperature". Well the last time I went there, they did a horrible thing to me. They cut some things I really liked off and now I don't want to play with the neighbor's poodle, Francoise, like I used to. I'm kinda afraid to go in the car now because I don't know what they will want to cut off next.
Well, its time for me to go outdoors and take care of some business. Humans do this in the house in a special room called the "john", "potty", "crapper", "bathroom", and other things. I do this in the house and they yell at me. How is this fair, I ask you? Human beings make no sense at all sometimes. Have a good day, everyone.
your best friend
Brody/Buddy aka No-no-bad-dog
Ahh, Brody/Buddy, I wish I had an Auntie Bugg like you do! I'd come to visit you, if I knew where you were, just to get some of her treats! 
