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Today, mah fella Amuricans, I want to present the economic blueprint for the Bugg Administration. The economy is in a sorry shape, as we all well know. The the weak dollar, the credit crisis, mortgage forclosures, rampant unemployment, soaring prices for food and energy are putting all our collective tits in a wringer. We must do somethng soon or I fear the worst. After careful study here are a few idears that will be put into place in the Bugg Administration.
First and formost, end the stupid war. We are spending $40 billion (yes, that's "billion" with a "b") a year on a useless conflict that does not one thing to help keep us safe from terrorists. Bring the troops home and set them to patroling the boarders. This would be a bigger bang for our security dollar, in my view. I mean, we have to have the military anyway, why not put them to some useful, necessary work right here at home?
Next, we'll enact some real welfare reform. All able bodied welfare recipients would be made to find jobs. They would retain health care benefits and child care but no more cash, food stamps or rent subsidies for doing nothing but lying around on thier fat asses, drinking, smoking dope and mulltiplying. Food stamps and rent subsidies would be reserved for those elderly and physically disabled who demostrate need. Where do we get all these new jobs, you ask? We can net some 11-13 million construction, manufacturing, and service jobs by rounding up all the illegals and deporting them. In addition, we ban the importation of foriegn workers unless and until all Americans have gainful employment. And as long as we are reforming "entitlements" we revamp Social Security disablity system. Only the PHYSICALLY disabled would be eligable for benefits. No more of this sucking off the public tit because you're on the sauce or have a drug habit or have "emotional problems". Get a grip, get off whatever mind altering crap yer on and get a job.
Next, we re-examine all foriegn aid. Most of the aid we dole out to other countries goes directly to the tin pot dictators who govern these third world hell holes. The ordinary citizen of these countries, for whom the aid was intended in the first place, rarely see any of it. We take each country on a case by case basis and serverely cut back those who have abused their citizens or screwed the good ol' U.S. of A. over in the past. And there are many, lemme tell ya.
Next, we go over each department of the gub'ment and cut back waste. No more funding for roads to nowhere, the study of gay seagulls or what causes beer guts (drinking beer, it turned out). Eliminate departments that are innefective or redundant, and require that the ones that are left reduce their budgets by at least 1% per year. That doesn't sound like a whole lot but it is significant. Those departments who don't meet the goal, fire the head of it and/or the cabinet official responsible. Its time to end "welfare" for these assholes too. Make them run efficient operations without screwing the ordinary citizen who depends on their services around. And most of all, end the automatic pork "earmarks" that Congress dishes out like candy on Halloween. If a project is truely needed, let the the Congress vote yea or nay. Time consuming? Perhaps. But it'll require the presence of Senators and Congresspersons who hardly ever show up on the floor of those august bodies, thus assuring that taxpayers get the representation they are paying for.
And most importantly, we must have jobs. Jobs, jobs, and mo' jobs. We hit these companies who go offshore or outscource jobs to India or China or wherever with tax increases. Make it sting to take jobs away from Amuricans. Conversely, we give tax credits to those companies who stay at home and/or to those foriegn businesses who choose to locate here. I will propose legislation that requires products sold in Amurica to be manufactured, at least in part, in Amurica. Give more funding to the Small Business Administration to encourage more people to start their own businesses. As we know, small businesses are where the majority of new jobs are created. We must also not raise the minimum wage...rather, reduce the withholding tax on those who earn less than $30,000 per year. That way, those folks get more in their paycheck and employers are not forced to cut back on staff or raise prices to keep pace with wage increases and we, the people, will not be paying $7 for a Big Mac.
We will invest in developing and perfecting engery alternatives and home grown oil resources. Let's work to make nuclear power safer, coal power cleaner and solar and wind power more practical. Tax credits to auto companies or other concerns that come up with innovations in transportation, enery alternatives, and fuel economy. This will hasten the day when we will be able to tell OPEC to shove their oil straight up their bernusses. And I promise you, the Amurican People, right here and now, that you will never, ever, see yer own Bugg kissing the asses of the Saudi Royal Family or anyone else, and calling it falaffal like the present occupant of the Oval Office has done.
This, then, is the Bugg Economic Plan. Or part of it, anyway. If anyone has any idears to add, please feel free. This is a democracy, after all. And will continue to be so if you vote early, vote often, and vote for the only cadidate for real change. Yer Own Bugg
reguards
yer the "you bet yer ass" candidate pal
bugg
