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A wildly enthusiastic crowd gathers around a platform festooned with American flags and draped with red, white and blue bunting. Looserobes introduces Bugg in glowing terms and the candidate mounts the stag to the tune of Earth, Wind and Fire's "Written in the Stone" wearing her traditional Fourth of July attire....baggy khaki shorts, a tee shirt that sez "You got a PROBLEM With That?" and her famous butt ugly Hawaiian shirt topped off by a sweat stained,mybloggers Dodger cap of unknown vintage. Bugg smiles and waves to the crowd, pointing at various ones. Flags, signs and placards saying "BUGG...BUGG...SHE'S THE ONE'' "BUGG FOR CHANGE" and "YOU BET YER ASS"
"Thank you, thank you all...." An ear splitting feedback eminates from the loudspeakers. "Dang, that electrician must work for McCain." Hilarious hoots and guffaws.
"Thank you one and all for coming to this, our annual Fourth of July Bar-b-que and fundraiser. I want to thank all the good folks who worked so hard to make this event possible: teacherwoman, who organized the event along with grumpy, jondude, Paulie, elkhound, and the rest of the Bugg For Pooobah staff. And to all of you who have shown or will show your confidence in me as the true candidate for change by your generous contributions. Give them and yourselves a big hand." Wild enthusiastic clapping and whistling.
"Yes friends...I just love the good food at a bar-b-que. And while we're talking about food, lets discuss a couple of dishes that have served way too often in this campaign, Pork...and waffles." Crowd cheers, clappes, whistles and hoots. My worthy opponents are showing themselves to be iron chefs of both these political delicasies. Not a day goes by without one of the other candidates "refining his position" on this or that issue (off-shore drilling and Iraq to name a couple). One thing you can be sure of, mah fella Amuricans, The Bugg Campaign sez what it means and means what it sez. The Bugg campaign remains committed to ending the war, supporting the Constitutional rights of ALL Amuricans, turning the ragged economy around and securing our borders. After all, isn't that we gather together today and celebrate our country's birth? So lets redouble our efforts to elect the candidate who will put this country first.
And I promise you, in the Bugg Administration, the only pork will be on Grumpy's grill, and the only waffles will be at Bob's Diner. Thank you all." Wild cheers, whisltles, hoots and waving signs and chants of " WE WANT BUGG". Bugg leans over to mizscarlett who whispers that the Elvis impersonators have arrived. Bugg smiles leciviously, straightens clothing, pats, hair and quickly exits, stage right.
Perfect speech!!! 
WE WANT BUGG!!!! 
