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You know, the BIG problems in life, like influenza, world-wide economic recession, genocide, homophobia and Republicans are easy enough to deal with. I have no problem handling them. They are big, and they are in-your-face, and they need to be dealt with swiftly and conclusively. So there is little to no procrastination involved with them.
It’s life little things that drive me over the edge. And we ALL have tiny little pet peeves, don’t we? Minuscule things that don’t really amount to a hill of beans, and we’re not really sure why, but they manage to make us crazy anyway?
Here are some of mine:
- The phrase – "Hill of Beans".
- The phrase – "Be that as it may." What does that mean? ANYWAY? Then just say, "anyway"!
- Hands and feet that never warm up from October until April.
- Disclaimers at the end of commercials. The words are spewed out so fast that nobody can really understand what is being said. But that’s the idea, isn’t it? If you buy the product, and then turn around and sue the company when the contraption takes your hand off or something, the manufacturer’s lawyers can always say, "But we warned you about it in the commercial!" No. They didn’t. They really didn’t. It’s like listening the song, "Louie, Louie"; you heard something, but you’re not really sure what.
- Women who dress provocatively and/or scantily, and then scowl at you for noticing.
- Gas pumps that ask you 1,000 questions right after you swipe your card and before they let you fill your tank. "What’s your zip code?" Want a receipt?" "Want a car wash?" "You want Grape Slush Puppy?" NO! All I want is the FREAKING GAS!
- Cursing just to sound cool. I’m guilty of this one myself, but when I hear it from others, it bothers me. To my way of thinking, there is a definite time and place for swear words, but they should be used sparingly in order to preserve their either humorous or shocking effects.
- Windshield wipers that go off on a perfectly beautiful, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky, sunny day. And then you can’t find the correct knob or lever, (which you obviously JUST HIT), to turn the fucking things back off again. (Swearing is appropriate in this situation in order to convey the frustration of the moment being depicted.)
- Sonic Drive-In Commercials
- The disgusted woman’s voice of the GPS that harrumphs "Re-routing!" when you miss the turn that it JUST instructed you to take.
- Al Gore. (I don’t know why. I like what he stands for. I just have a hard time with…AL GORE.)
- Eric Clapton’s original recording of LAYLA. I’ve listened to that song for forty years now, and I love the melody and guitar riffs in it. But what in the HELL are the lyrics?????? I can pick out a few words here and there, but most of it is a jumbled mess. I never even realized that it was a LOVE SONG until I heard the "unplugged" version!
- Mr. Coffee carafes that dribble no matter how fast or how slow you pour the coffee out.
- The word "carafe." Try "coffee pot."
This post really resonated with me this morning... I've been kinda bummed out the last couple of days for no good reason, except that I've been letting all these little insignificant pet peeves get to me way more than usual. So before I got out of bed, I said them all aloud, identified why they bug me, and then let them go (for the most part). I think I'm feeling better now because when I think about it, none of them really amount to more than a hill of beans.
you are funny...
