glitter-graphics.comI'm really going to try to have this by my last negative post, at least for a while. It's been a long, long day. We're getting the legal paper work done for our divorce. I was so excited to get my mom on the phone today and then it ended in a big, hurtful conversation which ended with her hanging up on me. The house situation is causing lots of stress. We have no equity so I want to just sign it over to him but because of the way his income is, we have the loan in my name. He is only on the deed. So the problem is that he can't get the loan in his name and that would leave my credit all tied up indefinitely. I want him to be able to keep the house but it is a big risk and obligation to have to keep legal responsibility for payment of the house to which I sign over all rights to. I need to figure out what I should do. If I decide to sell, he is going to move out right away which will leave the mortgage unpaid.

My G and his kids came over tonight and I was just miserable. I even tried to isolate myself but he refused to let me. As always he reminds me that he wants to prove to me that he loves all of me, not just the good parts. He wants to prove that he can hande me at my worst. He noticed my email quote right away when we started writing: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Marilyn Monroe

Finally after about 2 1/2 of his comfort and best friend chats, I felt great. I remembered how much I had missed his smile and the feel of his hand in mine just since the other day. Then it was time for him to go home and within 20 minutes of him leaving, I'm down again. I'm thinking about all that first paragraph garb and I want to let it go. I probably could have let it go except I saw that I had two voice mails. One of them was from my Mom, saying that she had talked to the ex and now she completely believed he wasn't out to hurt me and that there was no equity in the house. She also emphasized how "hurt" he was. I know it's only natural she will care for him as long as he's been in our lives but I just hate how sometimes it feels like she can see everybody's perspective except mine.