This past week has been a blur. It feels like since last Sunday when we went to Mom and Dad's for dinner was the last day of normalcy. It was last Monday when Dad was admitted to the hospital and so much has happened.

He had his surgery on Thursday morning and I went to see him on Friday after picking up a script for nerve pills for my Mom. He looked and felt pretty horrible as to be expected I guess. But it was scary, he looked like my Grandfather on my Dad's side right before he passed on. I know that is awful but if anyone has ever seen their loved one after a cuadruple bipass, perhaps you can understand what I mean.

On Saturday afternoon he was moved from CCU to a regular room on the cardiac recovery floor. My Mom and Sis were very stressed on this day and Dad was having his hardest day too it seemed. The depression from the surgery (very common I hear and read) had kicked in and he was weepy and lonely and didn't want to be a burden but also didn't want to be alone. He had no appetite and has lost quite a bit of weight in just one short week. The medicine that keeps him in the least amount of pain as possible keeps him in a dillusional state. He was hallucinating and rambling Saturday and Sunday. It is so hard to see him so helpless and weak. It's so unlike my Dad. Sunday afternoon G offered to watch and play with the kids while I went down to the hospital for the evening shift and Mom and Sis went home for a much needed break. Being alone with him, trying to get him to eat, hearing him say things that make no sense while slipping in and out of a light sleep, listening to him apologize for wasting my time, seeing the pain he's in...last night was the hardest for me.

This morning I got up and knowing Dad would be discharged, I went to help my Gramp put a bed together for my Dad in a downstairs bedroom. They had bought a new bed so we carried in the mattress and box springs. I also carried one of Mom's air conditioners downstairs from her upstairs bedroom and put it in myself so that Pop wouldn't lift on it. Then I waited for Mom and Dad to get home and made them lunch (which Dad didn't eat). Mom and Dad don't have prescription coverage so I went with Dad's twelve prescriptions to get the best prices I could. I also had to do my grocery shopping while I was there. After almost $300 I was able to walk out with a month's worth of medicine for my Dad. I feel so bad for them as they are having financial struggles as it is and now Dad can't work, Mom's missed a lot of work and the cost of medical bills is outrageous.

Now it's almost 11 and I am on morning shift for a while. My Mom goes back to work tomorrow at 5 a.m. Therefore...so do I. And I'm sooo not a morning person.

This isn't quite the way I pictured Summer vacation.

Tomorrow night my daughter starts Summer dance and son starts Tae Kwon Do. Next week my son starts Summer school. I guess Summer sleeping in isn't in the cards this year.

Everything happens for a reason. There must be a lesson or two I'll learn from this.

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