There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
I guess I am one of those people who believe that there are 2 kinds of people in the world....and it's true. There are really only 2 kinds of people in the world, Dog People and Cat People. Dog People and cat People really are a breed apart if you'll excuse the pun (and I don't expect you too, its a god awful one) At any rate, the cats and dogs strike me as innocent parties to the dispute; when cat people are ragging on canines, it soon becomes obvious that the true objects of their scorn are dog owners, not the dogs themselves, and vice versa. These are discussions in which neither reason nor temperance flourish, but I'll try to summarize the essential critiques of each side in an effort to get them efficiently out of the way.



Dog People:

They profess to be baffled by the cat person's affection for an animal that provides so little in active amusement. Cats will not frolic with you in the surf or fetch sticks or point with their noses at a bird for you to shoot. Dog people think cat people are suckers for doting on sneaky, selfish creatures that only pretend to like people in order to get food and other goodies and that will never, say, jump into a raging, flood-swollen river to rescue a small child at the risk of their own lives, as the faithful hound supposedly will. (My dog not being one of those selfless animals will actually be diverted on any task like guarding the house if properly distracted by bacon)

Cat People

They heap contempt on dog people for actually thinking a dog's devotion counts for much. A dog's love for its owner is, cat people say, entirely instinctual, indiscriminate and often unearned by its object; you are not loved for yourself but for the position you assume in the dog's life -- anyone else would do as well. Therefore, dog owners must be so desperate for love as to be nearly undeserving of it. The willingness of dogs to learn tricks is a result not of their intelligence but of their dopey eagerness to please. That cats can't be bothered to sit or heel on command is, their partisans insist, a sign that they are more clever by half. Cats are also self-cleaning, slobber-free, handy when you've got a mouse problem and don't have to be walked. Of course as far as I know any cat I have had will happily vomit up hairballs into your shoes as a sign of love, and far better person I would have to be to call that affection.

Now this is what I have heard from people determined to argue that there are two types of people in the world, and although I love my dog and enjoy his cat like tendencies I can't say that I am an entirely a dog person. Of course really we all know that there are only two kinds of people in the world anyhow: Beatles people and Elvis people.