Writer Chuck Wendig asked people on Twitter to describe VERY BADLY what they do for a living. Here were some good answers:
1. I burn things the correct amount.
2. I teach people to stab each other, but like really nicely
3. I push color around with hairy sticks.
4. I stuff pie-holes.
5. I make vaginas better.
6. I look in people and tell them what’s up inside…
7. I torture electrons.
8. I shoot people and hang them on walls
9. I stand at a wooden box in front of people all facing the same direction. Nobody can leave until I stop talking. Sometimes people hit their hands together.
10. I attempt to keep three humans who lack any sort of impulse control from prematurely ending their existence as enthusiastically as they can.
What they are, or probably are:
1. Probably a cook of some kind, although this person's Twitter is only about gaming.
2. Fencing teacher. I wanted to confirm this, so checked until I found -- https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidpolakoski
4. couldn't find out. Probably a bakery cook?
5. This was an MD of course.
6. Another MD.
7. I don’t know… a lighting artist or technician, or an engineer of some kind?
9. Author, lecturer.
10. Child care or parent, definitely.
This writer's Twitter was interesting; along with being a funny guy, he's posted a lot of photos he'd taken of a family of foxes on his property, which are very nice. He describes them as having “cat software installed in dog hardware,” apparently someone else's phrase.