Writer Chuck Wendig asked people on Twitter to describe VERY BADLY what they do for a living. Here were some good answers:


1. I burn things the correct amount.

2. I teach people to stab each other, but like really nicely

3. I push color around with hairy sticks.

4. I stuff pie-holes.

5. I make vaginas better.

6. I look in people and tell them what’s up inside…

7. I torture electrons.

8. I shoot people and hang them on walls

9. I stand at a wooden box in front of people all facing the same direction. Nobody can leave until I stop talking. Sometimes people hit their hands together.

10. I attempt to keep three humans who lack any sort of impulse control from prematurely ending their existence as enthusiastically as they can.

What they are, or probably are:
1. Probably a cook of some kind, although this person's Twitter is only about gaming.

2. Fencing teacher. I wanted to confirm this, so checked until I found -- https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidpolakoski

3. Artist.

4. couldn't find out. Probably a bakery cook?

5. This was an MD of course.

6. Another MD.

7. I don’t know… a lighting artist or technician, or an engineer of some kind?

8. Photographer.

9. Author, lecturer.

10. Child care or parent, definitely.

This writer's Twitter was interesting; along with being a funny guy, he's posted a lot of photos he'd taken of a family of foxes on his property, which are very nice. He describes them as having “cat software installed in dog hardware,” apparently someone else's phrase.