I have now had several days of NO smoking, no cheating. I am achieving the smoke-free state but it is an on-going effort. Only determination to quit keeps me from lighting up.

I don't think I would have gotten this far had I not cheated for a week or more. The urge was too strong, but after getting down to 2-4 cigarettes a day, I was able to face the thought of not smoking anymore. Quite a few people insisted that unless I quit "cold turkey," or as long as I smoked even a single cigarette, then I was not serious and would not succeed in quitting. Those folks were about as helpful and every bit as annoying as the people who for years felt obligated to repeatedly point out to me that cigarette smoking was bad for my health. What? They imagined that I did not know that or that I had forgotten it since I last saw them?

I realize now that there are many people whom I liked but whom I avoided because I smoked- and they felt obliged to point out to me that I was ruining my health every time they saw me. Even when I did not smoke near them or put them in a position where they had to breathe in second hand smoke, they still felt obliged to say something. There is nothing they could have done or said to motivate me to quit smoking. I knew the risks, so why did they insist on admonishing me time and again? They would say that it was because they cared about me and my health. I think it is because sometimes people just cannot accept that they have no influence, and even less control over others. All they succeeded in doing is making me avoid them. I knew the risks. I already felt badly enough (any addiction erodes one's self esteem). I did not need to be reminded of what a failure I was. (I had tried quitting several times over the years with varying degrees of success which always ended in failure.)

I have made up my mind that I will NEVER do that to my smoking friends. I realize that there is nothing I can do or say to influence them to quit and I sure as heck have no desire to add to their level of personal discomfort. Heck, I have not been smoke-free long enough to claim to be a non-smoker. All I have is my determination. One day at a time...