I have been feeling poorly for the past two weeks. Severe muscle aches (neck, back and arms), indigestion, constipation, inability to sleep, and a headache like I never before experienced. The headache is the worst part. For a few days it was so intense that could do nothing of consequence. I finally had to concede that this is stress.
I don't know what to say about my son that I never said before. I think I am this stressed because the veil of denial has truly dropped and I realize... too many things.
I will get over this too. It will take time and healing. While he has abused me for many years, it has only been two weeks since I truly grasped the depth of his hatefulness. I don't even want a relationship with him anymore. That feeling is so strong that I am reluctant to engage with my grandsons whom I cannot talk to except through him. I will endure what I must for their sake, but I see no reason to have unnecessary conversations with Michael.