Dottie Riley

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Username:: dragonflyby
Name:: Dottie Riley
Location:: Brandon, FL
Birthday:: 01/19
Status:: Single
Job / Career:: Design

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Life & Events > Distraught

Distraught

Last week, I called to talk to my grandsons. My son gave me an "appointment" on the 4th of July- over a week away. I did not understand why I had to wait a week to speak to them until I saw photos on Facebook. Turns out my son and his family are in Florida. They are visiting my DIL's parents and taking my grandsons to Disney World- only an hour away from where I live, but their schedule is "too tight" to call or visit me.
I am so upset that I am ill from it- intestinal distress, inability to sleep, fits of crying. I have not been allowed to talk to my grandsons in months because "they are too busy." My son has not spoken to me since last year(?) Not sure, but it has been many months, and now, he is also restricting my access to my grandsons. I am just sick.

posted on July 1, 2014 1:52 PM ()

Comments:

could it be possible to talk to your son , had the same here, wife spoke to him on the phone and sorted it out

comment by kevinshere on July 1, 2014 9:58 PM ()

sorry to hear that

reply by kevinshere on July 4, 2014 12:10 AM ()

My DIL will not speak to me. Something about their marriage works because they don't deal with each others parents. My sister tried talking to my son (they are about the same age and once were fairly close) but my son- to no avail. He can't name anything specific I have done to him. He simply justifies all of his actions. It has actually gotten worse.

reply by dragonflyby on July 2, 2014 12:29 AM ()

It's like a death, and what you may have suspected has now been confirmed. No matter what happens about it in the future, this is a point of no return because any trust you had is completely destroyed. At some point you may be able to put a half-way good face on it just to be able to see the kids again, but this will always be in the back of your mind. I'm so sorry.

comment by troutbend on July 1, 2014 7:36 PM ()

I think using the grandchildren is his newest way to torment me. He has spent the last 30 years punishing me for something and yes, it is like a death.

reply by dragonflyby on July 2, 2014 12:32 AM ()

I can only imagine the stress and pain you feel. Do you have any idea what has caused this distance?

comment by tealstar on July 1, 2014 6:07 PM ()

It started when Tod, my youngest was born. His father told him now once I had another son, that I no longer loved him; that I was only using him "like a pawn" to get back at his father. Michael repeated that same accusation two years ago, and he still believes it. I've spent the last 30+ years trying to prove that what his father said was a lie, but anything I say to negate his father's lies is just more proof to Michael that I am trying to turn him against his father.

reply by dragonflyby on July 2, 2014 12:38 AM ()

comment by drmaus on July 1, 2014 3:20 PM ()

My heart bleeds for you, I can only imagine how much it hurts. Mental
distress often results in physical pain and illness. We know that you are
a good and loving person and that your son is not.

comment by elderjane on July 1, 2014 2:42 PM ()

Every time I tell myself that I will no longer allow him to hurt me, he finds another way to wrench a knife through my heart. He said he wanted me to have a relationship with my grandsons, then he does stuff like this. Is he using my grandsons now to hurt me?

reply by dragonflyby on July 2, 2014 12:42 AM ()

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Distraught