Yes, I have been absent a great deal these past few months and it is not because I lost interest or have been too busy. The truth is, I have been depressed- but I did not want to say that either. Someone who incessantly whines is tiresome. I will admit it now because I not only recognize what is going on with me, but also because I made some decisions about how to change it.

I've been depressed since January. First, my only son didn't bother sending me a birthday card. Then, when I underwent the biopsy to rule out cancer, he did not bother to call me to find out if I was going to be ok. I complained a little and consider myself fortunate to have received a card on Mothers Day.

Things in the Auxiliary have not been much better. Last year, I received two national awards. How it works is that the awards should be presented at local levels but neither award was acknowledged- despite the fact that both of these awards going to the same person has never before been accomplished. This year, When I won these same two awards at district level, no one said 'congratulations'. What happened instead is that the judging was challenged!

A combination of things; the cancer scare, feeling neglected,feeling insulted because my skills and professionalism were questioned (and a few other things that happened but these are the major issues) made me reevaluate my life. I spend so much time doing Auxiliary stuff that I don't have time to paint or write- or spend with friends and family. In many ways, I have allowed the Auxiliary to isolate me from people and activities. It is time that I cut back on my Auxiliary involvement and reconnected with the people and things that are rewarding. I want to travel- go to Indiana and Pennsylvania. Maybe I can go to Oklahoma and Maine and meet some of you.

I am slowing down now and will cut back altogether after September. (There is a reason for the choice in dates.) I am also deliberately making time to paint no matter what does NOT get done. I am also working on my ideas for another book. I will never finish the one I was working on because I don't like how I stitched that one together.