DISCLAIMER: this blog is NOT pointed at anyone of you out
there reading this. It is just random thoughts that I have, observations I have
made in regards to myself and to people in my life. Please do not take offense.
If anything, just read it and see if you see yourself. And if you do, you might
take some of it to heart and do what you can to change yourself, if you want to
make any changes, or use it to reinforce what you are already doing. 

So what kind of person are
you? 

Are you one who bemoans the
fact that no one ever calls you, and yet you don’t pick up the phone and dial
anyone yourself?

Do you ‘wish’ someone would
write to you, and yet you only ‘reply’, not taking the initiative to write the
first word? Or you only ‘forward’ stuff that was sent to you?

Do you take time to drop by
and say hello, to go out to lunch or to go for a walk in the park with someone
you care about or do you find excuses about why you are too busy?

Do you MAKE time for people
who are important to you?

Do you say ‘I love you’ or
only ‘I love you TOO’?

Are you a Giver or are you a
Taker?

Do you treat others as you
want to be treated? Or do you treat others in the same way they treat you?

When you are driving down the
highway and someone cuts you off, do you honk and shake your fist violently at
them, or give them *the bird*, or do you smile and wave, or just plain ignore
them, being thankful that you were alert enough to not get into an accident?

Do you *stir the pot* or do
you find *peace at any price*?

Are you proactive in your
relationships? Relationships take special care. You have to want them enough to
make them what they can be. 

Do you always have to be
RIGHT or can you open your mind to another point of view or at least to ‘agree
to disagree’? By the same token, are you one who always sees yourself as being
WRONG?

Is it “All about ME” or is it
“All about everybody but me?”

Do you give so much of
yourself away that you have lost yourself?

Do you expect your family to
always be there, to always understand and to always forgive you?  Why are they any different than anyone
else?  You know, you can choose your
friends, but you can’t choose your family.  But that isn’t license to shit on your family, expecting them to just
suck it up because “you’re family”. Sometimes, even family relationships are
the ones that we have to let die. Mostly they are the ones we need to give
extra tender care to, to keep the fire burning brightly.

Most all of these show the
extremes. In actuality, a happy, middle ground is probably what is best.  I do know that a middle ground is what is
best for me.

I have a friend from high
school days. I haven’t talked to her in probably about 15 years or more.  And I know to this day, if I were to locate
her and get her phone number and give her a call, the first words out of her
mouth would be “M! You haven’t called in sooooo long!” Yet she makes absolutely
zero effort to contact me.  I have other
friends who are the same way. I know that in their heart, I have a special
place. But I sure can’t see it or feel it, not unless I make the first
move.  With that thought in mind, I have
worked to foster the relationships that are important to me. For the ones where
I feel that I am the sole keeper of the relationship, some of them have been
cast aside by me, by choice. They are not worth the effort to me anymore.  We all live busy lives. We all have *shit*
happening. We all can feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. And yet we
don’t stop to think that maybe someone out there would be happy to hear from us
too.  Maybe, just maybe, that friend you
are thinking about, wondering why they haven’t called you lately…maybe, just
maybe, they are thinking EXACTLY the same thing.  They don’t feel like they are important
enough to you, because you don’t make the effort to keep the fires
burning.  Some fires are better left to
die out. Others need tender care to rekindle the flame and keep us warm through
and through.  We have to choose the fires
to fan and the ones to pour water on. It should never be about keeping
score….who called whom last, who wrote last, who did this or who did that. It
should be important enough to you to do what it takes.  Sometimes, even though we don’t get in return
what we give, we don’t give up….we keep on giving, because it is that important
to US. And that is what matters.  WHAT IS
IMPORTANT TO ME?

Do you take life and all that
it throws at you, and use it for good? We can all share our experiences, both
good and bad, and use them to help other people.  My kids have had to face the unexpected death
of their dad, at his own hand.  What a
horrible thing for anyone to have to go through. And yet, through it all, my
kids have both found a bit of peace in helping others through similar
situations.  They have found something I
would call ‘strength’ through their adversity. They learned from their mom to
look for the good, to look for the silver lining in that dark and gloomy cloud.
Although I have felt ridiculed, at times, for being so “happy”, “upbeat”,
“optimistic”, and for having a “positive attitude”, I stick to my guns.  I find that life is so much easier when I try
to see the positive in things.

It is never too late to
change.  I remember at the time I was
going through my divorce, my brother said something to me that just rang so
true. It is something that I think everyone can hear, and can put to use in
their own lives, in whatever way they see fit. I believe he said it was an old
Irish proverb…or something like that. It went something like this: “No matter
how long you’ve been traveling down the wrong road, it is NEVER too late to
turn and take a different road.”

As I put in a reply to a post
(don’t remember for sure what post it was in!), I have the following posted on
my refrigerator. I look at it quite frequently, to remind myself of what needs
to be done. It is a variation of the Serenity Prayer and it goes like this:

God, Grant me the Serenity to
ACCEPT the people I cannot change;

The Courage to CHANGE the ONE
that I can;

And the Wisdom to know that
it is ME!

So take a look at what kind
of a person/friend/mate you are, and remember that the only person you can
change is yourself.  In order to have
good friends, you have to be a good friend too.  I hope you want to have what it takes to be the one who picks up the
phone to call a friend, who stops by to visit someone who doesn’t have many
visitors, to offer kind words of advice or just a shoulder to cry on and I also
hope you can be the one who says “I LOVE YOU!” once in awhile.