I do believe that we all can do anything our little ol' heart desires, as long as our desire to do such things (whatever they may be) is stronger the our inclination to NOT do anything. So even though I "talk" about my issues with FSA, it is painfully obvious that my desire to do something about it.....to change the course of my being....is just not strong enough to overcome. I blame it on my mom...bless her heart....she infected me with this FSA. My oldest sister doesn't seem to have gotten the bug, or when she does have it, it is only fleeting.....and my other sister only sort of has it....not me. I'm full-blown infected with FSA.
So what exactly is FSA? It is my Flat Surface Affliction. If I were to put it into a narrow definition, it means that if there is a flat surface anywhere near me, it is mandatory...read that again....MANDATORY , that you NOT be able to see the top of that flat surface. "Stuff" must be placed there, because what on earth is a flat surface for, except for stacking "stuff" on? And honestly, if I am not stacking "stuff" there, then it is fair game for the dust particles to inhabit.
I have severely limited the number of flat surfaces onto which all my "stuff" can be placed....living full-time in a 34' fifth wheel home. But that has NOT stopped, or even attempted to cure, my FSA. I always swear to myself.....cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye kind of swearing......that I am GOING to get this "stuff" cleaned up and find a permanent home for each item, even if that means the dumpster.....and I kick all those little dust particles off their perch.....and I beam with pride and say "LOOK! There really truly is a countertop here (or tabletop or whatever!)" And then, while I sleep, the "stuff" in the house sneaks out of the perfect places I found for them to reside, and they take up residence in their old neighborhood......my flat surfaces!
I told you earlier, I blame my mom for this issue. I grew up as the youngest of 5 children. Some of my earliest memories circle around FSA....every day, day after day after day.....over and over ad nauseum. We had a dining room, which contained a dining set (table and chairs) with a matching buffet. Every evening, Mom would say to me "Marty, clear the table and then set the table"....which meant get all the "stuff" off the table, and then set it with dinnerware for supper. And where does any youngster put "stuff" other than on the closest flat surface to set it all on...which for me was the top of the buffet. When we were finished eating, the table was cleared again.....dishes were done...washed, dried and put away....countertops, stove and table washed and all the various condiments and spices and such were put back in their resting place. A clean, 100% clutter-free table top!! The table looked as if it had grown exponentially since just prior to that "clear the table.....set the table" directive. Fast forward 24 hours, plus or minus....and it's like déjà vu all over again....."Marty, clear the table and set the table." How on God's green earth does a table gather so much "stuff" in just less than 24 hours? And wait.....isn't the buffet top now pretty well cleared off.....and isn't the "stuff" I put there last night now on the table.....again? And we can't blame it all on having 7 people in the household....as the number declined, the "stuff" still gathered. And there seemed to be just as much when there were 3 of us living there as there had been when we numbered seven. Heck, when mom was living alone, there was still just as much "stuff" sitting around, inhabiting the flat surfaces.
AHA! I think I have figured it out.....it is not ME who suffers from a flat surface affliction....it is my STUFF! It does it. I put it away, and it sneaks out during the night, has a rendezvous in the old neighborhood, and it must all be too drunk or hungover or lost or something and can't find its way back to the nice neat little home I gave it just a few hours before!! It's NOT MY FAULT!! YEA!! All I need now is new "stuff" and the desire to show it to its real home...anywhere other than a flat surface....immediately upon arrival in our humble abode. But wait......15 minutes on the closest flat surface and the damage is done. It thinks that is "home".......I'm doomed! My next home will have to be uniquely built....with absolutely NO flat surfaces....and special suction cups to hold my coffee cup on the nicely rounded top! All I can say is "Thanks, Mom!"