I have not had cake since December 29th. Hostess announced today they will be filing chapter 11. How much cake was I eating?

I loved cake. I have fought Ninjas in my dreams for a beautiful piece of cake. I loved cake so much that I believe I may have had relations with one in a very exciting cake dream. I had another dream I was found dead with frosting on my fingers and some guy that found me was like "Well it looks like she did it again.." What is did it? Did I die trying to assault a cake, but this time it fought back?

It is not just cake. Cake just represents my foodie love so well. I remember having a dream that my uterus was a sack full of candy bars the last time I was pregnant.

Now lets get back to I HAVE NOT HAD CAKE SINCE LAST YEAR! I got my hands on some self hypnosis weight loss tapes. I am on my third day of not being hungry. The sad part of it all is I don't even know who I am if I am not hungry. I should be eating something or at the very less plotting out my next special very secret treat. THERE ARE NO COOKIES IN MY DRAWER.

I feel weird. What is stranger that I am not eating or that I am worried why I am not eating or that eating has been that big in my life that now I feel lost...

I had a hobby. It was called Swallowing.

My hobby took up all my spare time. Now when the kids go off to school or I find myself alone I have a little treat. I have secret mini meals on the run from the family. I know it is a sign of a eating disorder when you sneak food. I call it I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ONE DAMN MEAL TO MYSELF syndrome. The only way I can finish a meal by myself is to I smoke a cigarette at the same time "Nope kids this cheese sandwich is full of second hand smoke so get outta here!"

I wonder if the people down at the bakery miss me?

I don't miss them. I just miss the cravings. Oh yeah those hard core "I WILL DRIVE THROUGH A SNOW STORM FOR CHINESE BUFFET RIGHT NOW!" cravings. I have walked two miles for a fresh donuts and skipped out of a parent teacher conference to meet up with my favorite Greek food down at the park.

Well I am off to listen again to the tapes that are destroying my hobby, identity, secret love, obsession and best friend.