My friend, John, who has been in and out of the hospital in the last two years, always bounces back and recently he was doing quite well. He had a house guest who needed a place to stay and she had a little girl, so she scrubbed his place clean partly as payment for staying there free of charge. Finally she moved out and then John became ill and self-diagnosed himself with pneumonia. He let several days go by thinking he could weather things but when I saw him four days ago, I persuaded him to let me call the EMTs because he not only wasn’t getting better but could no longer get out of bed, and he had no one caring for him. His landlord, who lives across the street and is a friend, also helped persuade him. John kept saying, “Give me one more day,” but I could see he could’nt feed himself nor take care of basics and wouldn’t last another day.

I called Scott, his son, and Scott allowed the staff at Cape Coral Hospital to persuade him to sign John into hospice care. He is easily swayed because he has no smarts and trusts "the experts", which is easier to do when you don't think for yourself.

When Scott told me, I said, “Why ever would you do that?” Scott said, “if he improves, they won’t move him.” And the very next day they moved him. Here is what I have learned from experiences Ed has described during his work as a guardian. Hospitals want really sick, elderly people off their plate. Hospice is an easy fix. Yes, they are no longer allowed life-saving measures in hospice, but, you know, “they aren’t going to live long anyway”. That is the psychology, and once moved into hospice care, the medical personnel in hospice EXPECT the patient to die in short order and behave accordingly.
I went to visit John at the hospital yesterday and his room was empty, scrubbed clean. I missed his exodus by about an hour. I checked at the desk and learned he had been moved to hospice. I got directions and drove to the site in a northern part of Cape Coral. John was awake and was depressed. I spoke with him, encouraged him, and let my feelings be known to the nurse in charge. I don’t think they like me. I am perturbed because he moves in and out of confusion, a new thing for him.

Meanwhile, the nurse spoke with Scott, then Scott’s “fiancée” as she describes herself, phoned my home, got my husband and accused me of upsetting Scott, so apparently the nurse had said some things. So I am in the middle.

Today I had a lengthy stress test for myself in Cape Coral, a daunting trip and takes up most of the day and in an hour, I am due to go feed Buster and walk him, and the little guy knows something is really wrong this time because he sleeps by the door. Ed said maybe we could take him, but I am not doing so well myself and another animal is a big responsibility. I am not sure what to do. Should I take him?

So there is no time to visit John today.
Life is complicated and I’d like to bust a few heads together, starting with the fiancée, who doesn’t want the dog, even though Buster was at first Scott’s dog before he left him with his dad to go and live with (apparently) a good fuck who is in all other respects a selfish twit and appears to be dominant in the relationship. Can’t help him there.

But the good news is, I finally solved one problem. I was experiencing debilitating fatigue, nearly fainting at the slightest effort and finally a light bulb went on and I realized an inflamed and swollen gum was probably causing a system-wide infection. I called my dentist and got his back-up and he prescribed an antibiotic that he phoned in to the pharmacy, and three days later, I am coming out of it. Close call. These infections can cause major problems.

John's situation has affected me deeply. I don’t want to lose another friend.

xx, Teal