I tool along in later life, blessed with resources denied to many, and have to stop periodically and tell myself how lucky I am.

There is a wonderful woman, Caroline, who comes, now, every two weeks to clean my house. She is in her 40s, has 5 children, lost one tragically in an accident. Two are 10 and 12, and the others are grown. She is lovely, great body, works out, looks foxy. She is a super and meticulous cleaner.

She kicked out her most recent boyfriend because he was on painkillers. She is suffering because she really cared for him, but she is a strong lady and she’d had enough. After a period of being clean, he went back on the meds and his personality changed.

Her car died and she needs a new transmission so a kind neighbor lets her use his truck – she drops him off at work and continues to her client, and picks him up at the end of the day. A used transmission will cost her $500 and she can’t afford one. So she is working her tush off and saving money. She doesn’t deserve to be always living from hand to mouth.

Caroline also has birds and cats and dogs in her home, located in a semi-rural area. She loves animals and won’t say no to them. Her 12-year-old daughter got sassy when she insisted she clean her room, so she spanked her and the kid went to the neighbors and called the cops because her mother was “abusing” her. The cops came, listened to her story, saw the room (gross), told her she was doing a great job, and left.

I told her one option was to let the girl live in squalor, not clean her room for her, not fuss, and eventually, the kid would have to do something. This is a tactic espoused by many child-rearing gurus. But she can’t do it because she is compulsive about cleanliness and said if she did that, the whole house would get infested by bugs.

My bff, Nadine, also known as gtf (go-to-friend), introduced me to another friend whose husband keeps bees and makes honey. So I got a jar and it is really good. A visiting nurse from United Health Care came to see me as part of their Medicare Advantage effort (that I was forced into by my retiree plan from the NYT – the alternative being stay with Medicare and pay for my own Medigap, 4 times as expensive so I am giving this a chance). The nurse said I could probably deal with my sinus attacks by eating local honey since that would help deter allergies from the area. So I am trying it. So far, allergies not abated and I have gained 2 lbs. I don’t want that I can’t lose, even though I just have less than a teaspoon of honey every morning with my toast. If there is a God, he sucks. I may just drop the honey, good as it is.

It doesn't help, I know, that I ran out of wine, so I opened a bottle of Korbel Brut($10 at BJ's) that I am drinking a glass of with dinner and I don't care if it goes flat. Ed says I am compulsive as he sits with his never far from his elbow vapor cigarette.

xx, Teal