In the supermarket checkout line recently, I noticed some headlines in one of the “sensational” tabs, The Globe: “Camilla has Meltdown – Charles wants her institutionalized.” (sic) I didn’t buy the paper – for details, you’re on your own. If any of it is true, I wonder what did it? Charles wasn’t the dream husband she imagined? The royal family was indeed the nightmare Diana said it was? Charles found yet another woman to do while wife sits in palace prison?

Another headline claims Teddy Kennedy has admitted an affair with Jackie Kennedy. The photo of her with him looks like a public one. It certainly isn’t clandestine. It could be perfectly benign. Did he really say it? She looks middle-aged in it and that means it’s after her widowhood and remarriage.

Jennifer Anniston is finally over Brad Pitt. Angelina (are those really her lips?) Jolie and Brad have problems. Oh, vomit. And I wish all entertainment personalities would stop burbling about their babies, babies, babies.

Another mag on the rack was titled “Kitchen Secrets”. I told the woman in front of me that I had the best kitchen secret. “What, what?” she asked. “A cook and a maid,” I said. Sweet thing let me go ahead of her since I only had two items.

At home, self-control reigned supreme as I, in my haste to put stuff away in the fridge, dislodged a 32 oz. container of super salsa and the plastic split on the tile floor. Not a peep out of me, not even a sigh. The salsa made an oh-so-pretty spiral pattern over everything in a 5-foot radius including under the fridge where those vents are. And this morning, the door kept sticking, and yes, there was goop on the inside of the door. Brunswick came by to check it out but he doesn’t like salsa. I cleaned it all up, using half a roll of paper towel. I thought of the commercial where a husband and his young boy look at a spill and call it a 3-sheet spill and the wife runs in with a roll of Bounty (holy, holy product) and merrily chirps, “Nope," (oh I ‘d like to smack her), “a one sheeter!.” Well, forget that. They should live at my house. Trust me, a year from now, if we move anything, there will be a streak of dried salsa behind it. No wonder the bugs are reeling. That was hot stuff.

One good thing, I am rid of the salsa. Ed was eating a lot of it at one time so I kept buying bigger containers. Then he tired of it and now I have stuff going sour.

xx, Teal