I waited with a certain amount of dread, my b.i.l.’s reaction to my Op-Ed piece. I knew he had seen it because he no longer stopped to talk with me if he was driving by as I walked or biked.

After a few days, I decided to face him and smooth our troubled waters but that was futile. So I knocked on his door.

Don has very strong, unwavering opinions about everything and I do believe him when he tells me that, as a manager for a plant at Hot Point/General Electric, he was instrumental in successfully guiding and training black subordinates to better jobs. But he thinks my Op-Ed characterizing the acquittal of George Zimmerman in the death of the black teen, Treyvon Martin, as racially based was uninformed and divisive, and that I was going to be personally responsible for race riots. He insisted Zimmerman had no choice because Martin was banging his head over and over into the concrete (he acted this out, his expression maniacal in depicting Martin’s determination). A Google of the incident says that Zimmerman’s injuries were minor, that he was never unconscious as such a battering would indicate, and that he was treated minimally at a clinic, not a hospital. But Don played this up as if it was intentional murder about to happen and that it was premeditated on Martin’s part.

To show me how off the wall, out of touch and wrong-headed I am, he claimed that friends of his approached him and said, “what’s WRONG with her!!!!” Well, that doesn't work with me -- I've seen his friends (walking while chewing gum is a challenge for them). If they, indeed, had negative remarks, I don't give a rat's ass.

Through the years, Don has often told tales of how others view us and our unfortunate choices and life style, our house decor (too New York), my hair, my make-up, my weight. When I was heavier a few years ago, he took to greeting me with "Hi Chunky". As mentioned, I am not daunted by these reports. He makes them to shake my confidence in myself, and to allow him to appear to have my best interests at heart. His aim is make me receptive to being taught how things really are after first convincing me I need his help.

During his entire rant Don was extremely agitated and barely in control. I left and we both understood that we might not ever be in touch again. He also threw in negative comments from my late best friend, Penny that he claims took place when she was visiting us in 2004. I knew Penny extremely well. We were joined at the hip since 1951. No way she would bad mouth me to the likes of him. His mission for years has been to discredit me and shake my self-esteem by inventing what others supposedly think of me. He does not succeed. And he has the gall to try to shake my confidence in my best friend.

After I left, I thought I might write him a note telling him that despite our differences, I still considered him family and wished him peace in dealing with my sister’s loss. He is truly done in about that. I had/have? A residual wish to set the record straight with him about his lies and other instances of his treatment of me with disdain. But I do believe nothing I say will reach him and if I were to succeed in forcing him to acknowledge his behavior, his lies, his manipulations, that he would be shattered. Controlling those close to him keeps him alive. I won’t be victim to it, but I don’t want to remove his reliance on it because it Is all he has. So I am letting him be. He has been family for 65 years, some of them really good, especially early times. We were once a loving family unit. And in honor of my sister’s memory, I do not want to contribute to his decline. He’ll get there soon enough without my contribution.

Don't you agree we need a channel named "Life and Events Traumatic"? Or "Life and Events -- Shit Happens"?

xx, Teal