My friend, Sue, who had to leave Florida and close her little alteration shop because she couldn’t make a go of it during a bad economy, returned to her home state of Wisconsin. She is thriving there, surrounded by her grown children and grandchildren and is getting a lot of work, so it was a good move for her during a difficult time. She said she loves Florida and will come back and re-establish herself here when it is financially feasible. She has been gone about 2 ½ years now and has promised to visit. I do know she traveled to Florida to see another friend in another part of the state, helped that friend move. Couldn’t make it to where I am.

She was going to visit in November around Thanksgiving. I learned she was planning to stay with another friend. I told myself that was okay because we have only one guest room and she was traveling with her son. She said that despite sleeping arrangements, she would come hang out with me around our pool deck and we would reconnect.

Thanksgiving came and went. I didn’t hear from her. I assume she is back in Wisconsin. She reminds me of boyfriends who were warm and compelling and said they would call and then did not. They would charm their way back into my good graces, promise to call, and then would not. Eventually, I would catch on that they liked to maintain a connection in case they ever needed one when other options were exhausted. Always on the string. I don’t think she is even aware that she does this, but there is definitely no excuse for not calling to say, “I can’t make it. Really sorry.” Just no word and no Sue.

I have been enormously fond of Sue, really miss her, but I e mailed her birthday wishes, said I hoped she had had a lovely Thanksgiving and added this sentence, “I’m giving up on you.”

Why, I wonder, would anyone bother to exude welcome and kindness and interest in e mails and on the phone, and promise to visit, sound very enthusiastic about visiting and then disappear? Susan has a lot of charisma, and has many friends, so I know she has a busy time of it.
I had counted myself among her friends, but I seem to be on her back burner and every other request for her time seems to come before any desire to see me. It would appear it is easier for her to disappoint me instead of disappointing someone else.

All these years of experience and still vulnerable. I could cry. In any case, I no longer have any expectations and I’m moving on. There is also the issue of time running out. It is too sad that people live their lives as if there are a million tomorrows. My best friend from childhood, Penny, admittedly financially troubled, never made it back to see us. We offered her a r.t. plane ticket but she was too proud to accept. Then she died. Now her daughter promises to come, someone I love dearly, and doesn’t make it and doesn’t make it. It is what it is. But, without an extended family, my only sister gone, I cherish time with close friends.

xx, Teal