Yesterday we took our friend, S (40ish) and J, her sugar daddy (70ish) to the house of one of Ed’s wards, who is under end-of-life care, so that they could acquire some furniture from the estate. S is now the trustee for her S.D. and he is leaving her $200,000 in his will and she says she is not sleeping with him but he offered her rent free accommodations while she is trying to get on her feet after a nasty divorce. The terms were no sex, no way, and he said okay, but he gave her a diamond ring which she is wearing on her middle finger.

Ed is selling the house as soon as he can get the ward's nieces and nephews to sign off on the trust the house is in (they are beneficiaries). But he cannot find any trust paperwork and the ward is memory impaired. He may have to sue the relatives, who think there is a lot of money there and are avid to get theirs. But Ed says his ward will have enough to pay for her remaining days only if he sells the house. S wanted me along to second-guess her choices and I said sheesh no to a couple of really crappy Hallmark type paintings and a plaster madonna, but we all know why I said no to the madonna.

There was a tawny mink jacket, nice enough, but looked totally stupid on her - a bad fit - I talked her out of it. It fit me, but I have no use for it. I dumped a fancy. tawny full-length mink on the Goodwill in New York because I had too few occasions to wear it and it wasn’t the sort of coat you’d wear on the subway and avoid getting mugged. Also, Ed didn't like it at all. (No, I didn't buy it to begin with -- long story.)

Ed wanted to know why her sugar daddy would be so generous for what he thought of as very few benefits. I gave him my opinion: J would rather live with a lovely woman, 30 years younger, with the appearance of a relationship, who is studying for a nursing degree and works in a hospital. She is emotionally generous and will live up to her side of the bargain and take care of him. He is happy for the companionship and far prefers to be friends with no benefits with someone like S, than to respond to the creaky widows his own age who are always bringing him cookies. He might think, also, that she might cave eventually if he is really good to her.

So she picked out furniture she liked with which to redecorate what she considered his shabby digs. He has money to live upscale but just doesn’t pay attention. She also chose paintings, sculptures, and a leather coat, mid-thigh length which really did suit her, and for her use, the newish hard top, red and cream Cadillac coupe with 20,000 miles on it sitting in the garage. He'll go with Ed to the DMV to change the registration -- I wonder if he'll put it in her name. He paid for everything with one check. Mission accomplished.

I have been to occasions like this over the years and I always feel sad to be picking over the belongings of the person who has died or is about to, and mentally apologizing to them for invading their privacy. However, this time I talked myself out of sympathy, because her mail was full of right-wing, racist rhetoric from extremist groups she seemed happy to support, so, basically, f… her and her problems.