One part of my sister's email was, reminding me again, about how they think I have mild Asperger's syndrome. I read about it today. From what I read, it's usually diagnosed in children because of developmental and socialization issues. It's difficult to diagnose in adults and some of its social aspects that I might have may be rewired by now, but I don't know if it is a problem now if it was as a child.

Some of the attributes of Asperger's syndrome are impaired social interaction, interest in specific and narrow topic areas and activities, long-windedness and restricted intonation of speech, and physical clumsiness.

I'm not interested in topics to that degree and, though I have written about learning new material in Kempo class, I don't think I'm clumsy in general. I do have those speech patterns sometimes. Dolly read this post and is familiar with Asperger's syndrome and doesn't think I have it.

Part of the social interaction theme is alexithymia. While not considered a disorder, people with alexithymia are unable to express or describe their feelings and emotions and lack creativity and imagination. I can see I have some of that and have been working on that aspect for many years, though I didn't know it had a name.

I have been working on expressing feelings for several years, but know I have some creativity. One type of book that I like to read, though not a category in itself, is one that has emotional content, as I try to understand emotions more. Those tend to be stereotypically women's books, one example is some chic lit.

The stereotypical male trait of not talking about emotions is different. These men may not express emotions verbally, but they are emotional and can be passionate about women, cars, sports, etc. They understand their emotions and what's going on within themselves.

Alexithymia is considered to have an environmental rather than genetic cause, but can result from an injury or upbringing. Neglect, indifference, or abuse in childhood is associated with it. If children don't learn feedback from their parents, then their self-awareness doesn't develop normally and they have difficulty understanding emotional expressions and proper responses.

While my sister, her husband, and my father don't acknowledge (i.e., I am delusional like my mother in thinking) that I was emotionally mistreated as a child, we all agree I have a trait that (probably) comes from such of background.