"So how does it feel to be the only girl here tonight?" N shouts over the loud music and constant crash of bowling pins.

"Special." I jokingly reply. But really, it's nothing new.

Since moving out on my own, I've always been the only girl amongst a group of guys. The only difference is back in my teens and early 20's, it was because none of my male roommates had girlfriends. Ten years later, it's because all of the wives choose to leave early or stay home. I'm the only girl in our group who isn't pregnant or nursing a newborn. Nor do I plan to for a while.

Although it's definitely not an unusual decision to want to wait a while before starting a family... it is a different decision from what all our immediate friends are doing. For now, J n' I have decided that we really want to focus on our careers. Not to mention, I personally think it would be very stupid for me to get pregnant while we're living on screenplay funding. Don't you?

While I'm all for staying positive about the future as I imagine all the wonderful possibilities ahead, I do like to keep at least a few steady toes drenched in a less amazing reality. What if our dreams don't come true, and it takes a few more years before our film gets made? What if I have to get another 9 - 5 job next year once the funding runs out? What if I were pregnant when the funding runs out? Who the hell would want to hire someone that is only a few short months away from maternity leave?

"Someone would hire you," J's mom insists. "Just get a job where you could work from home."

Oh yes, THAT'S the answer!

I love her dearly. I really do. But she's like most wanna-be grandmas -- her intense desire to have a grand-baby to cuddle n' hold fogs any logic or understanding of the situation. Then again, she did immediately follow up her 'work from home' statement with, "Well, no.... No, I promised myself that I'm not going to pressure you. I'll just shut my mouth." Which I very much appreciated... even though she didn't make an effort to shut her mouth for more than a few seconds before she started reminding me again about how badly she wants to be a grandma.

"I know... but you already have a grand-baby on the way. How about you just practice with that one first?" I teased.

I mean seriously... why pressure me when SIL could give birth any day now. Her actual due date is Dec. 10, which falls directly between BIL's birthday on the 3rd, and J's on the 18th. Gosh, is it possible for December to get any busier?

In any case, despite the occasional coaxing jabs now n' then from MIL, this pregnancy has been a real blessing as it has definitely lessened a lot of the "when are you going to have kids?" pressure off our shoulders. Believe me, it used to be a lot worse. Actually in many ways, SIL & BIL's relationship has always been a nice distraction from J n' I.

As some of you may remember, SIL & BIL got engaged less than two months after J n' I, and then somehow managed to get married two months before us. Their crazy rush to quickly pull together a massive wedding overshadowed the fact that we were getting married too... which I have to say was kinda awesome. Amidst all the fuss and hoopla, J's mom commented to us a couple times that she felt bad that BIL and SIL were hogging all our spotlight. But really, think about it -- we were eloping... Do we sound like the kind of people who want to bask in the spotlight? No, not really.

Then SIL got pregnant (actually, she got pregnant before their wedding... which kinda explains the added rush to the alter.) And just like that, all MIL's pressure was suddenly gone. Meanwhile, throughout her pregnancy poor SIL has been bombarded with almost daily phone calls from MIL, "Why didn't you answer the phone when I called earlier this afternoon? I wanted to tell you that our baby is X weeks old today! They say it has fingernails now! Did you visit all those websites I sent you? Why not? You really should visit those websites to see how our baby is developing."

Now that baby is almost due, SIL has been overwhelmed with all kinds of helpful offers. I laughed when she recently told me that MIL keeps asking if she can take the baby for a weekend in the new year. "Sure thing!" SIL keeps telling her. "As soon as you can breast feed!"

Ha. Man, that would drive me nuts. I'm glad MIL is getting it out of her system now, so I don't have to deal with daily phone calls about 'our baby' when my time finally comes. I mean, it's obviously very understandable why MIL is excited. She had been bugging J n' I to have kids for years... then BIL just starts dating a girl, and boom - they're getting married and she's pregnant! It's a dream come true... for both MIL and subsequently, for me. Ha.

Unfortunately what makes it much worse for SIL is that she's getting hammered by excited grandmas-to-be at both ends. Listen to this...

Apparently if there's a flu outbreak at the time SIL has the baby, only BIL can go into the maternity ward with her. No other visitors are allowed. So SIL's mother, who is a social worker, got all fired up and told her, "Well I'm a government employee! They can't stop me from going into any public building that I want! If they don't allow me in that room after the baby is born, I'll just tell them that I've been instructed to pull the child from your care, and that I have every right to go in there and speak to you about it."

HA! As if!!!

SIL, who is a middle school counsellor, freaked, "What about my professional reputation?!?!" To which her mother-in-blinders replied, "It doesn't matter... They can't stop me!"

Nice, eh?

Then my MIL stubbornly told her, "Well, if they don't let me see the baby when it's born, I'll just sit in the lobby all day and keep bugging the nurses, refusing to leave until they finally let me in."

Yeah... because that'll work like a charm. The thing is, I know that she'd totally do it too. She's like that.

Good heavens. Let's just hope there isn't a flu outbreak when SIL goes into labour.

Anyhow, the whole point of this long-winded story is that the times are a changin' in Mellowdee land. Everyone we know is marching down that same path. Everyone had a big wedding. Everyone has bought a house. Everyone is having kids.

As for J n' I... now more than ever, it is evident that we are clearly marching to the beat of our own drum. (At least in the band we've been playing with.)

Not that we don't want to own a house or have kids some day... but we have other priorities right now. Of course, that only raises the question of how long we're willing to put our own career goals on a pedestal above starting a family? Will the time come where we are forced to choose between the two? I certainly don't believe it will -- not at all -- but it's still a worthy question.

I'm only 29, so that's not too bad... but J is going to be 36 in a few weeks. He and I always joke about how he's gonna be the 'old dad'. We'll often act out the following skit:

"Why did you bring your grandpa to Father-Son Day?"

Our kid hangs his head in shame, "That's not my grandpa... that's my dad."

Then J hunches forward and makes an old face. Ha ha.

So yeah, I realize that it may take a while before J n' I find ourselves headed down the same well-beaten path that all our friends are on. It could be years before we can afford a nice house and then finally decide to start a family -- either naturally or through adoption. We are both well aware that we might end up being the old parents - however, we wouldn't be the first. (Nor the last.) But in the meantime, I'll be fine to continue hanging out with just the boys.