So I just found out that my childhood friend who lived across the street from me passed on. He had Leukemia, went on hospice yesterday and died this morning at 3AM.

I haven't seen him in probably a decade and talked to him briefly in emails on occasion. At one point I asked him if he wanted me to get tested to see if I was a match as he was waiting on a donor for bone marrow.

I know I am not "expected" at this funeral, but will I be able to forgive myself if I don't go? You don't get a second chance, ya know? It's the grand finale.

I am perplexed.

It's a busy time at work.

I missed a friends funeral years ago and I haven't forgiven myself for that one yet. I don't want this to be the same, but again, I haven't seen him in a really long time and we barely kept in touch.

We did have a lot of memories from growing up though. We used to play together all day long. Years and years ago.

What to do?