If you really believe there is going to be a "rapture," why haven't you canceled your cell service, your cable, or arranged to have your utilities turned off?

If you haven't done these things, then you must be lacking in faith.

I have a better idea: Go to your bank tomorrow and withdraw all your funds and send them to me. I accept cashier's checks or money orders.

I will be a good steward of your money after you've departed.

Meanwhile, I am stressed. Far to many "you gotta do this and you gotta do that's"

On a scale of one to ten, I am stressed at about 46.

Tomorrow I got Shanghaied into speaking for the art guild at the Kiwanis lunch. They said, "Make it about a 15 minute speech about the art guild."

That's not what I intend to do. My speech will rival the Gettysburg Address for promptness.

I have taken to not answering my cell phone. I let the callers leave messages.

My house needs a thorough cleaning.

The cats are on my nerves.

Don't ask.