I read posts on mybloggers almost every day, but i rarely get around to writing my own posts. When I do post, it's usually about something significant: 4C Camp for Adults, siding on the house, the garden when it's doing well, or not well. There are times when I actually don't have anything interesting to say. Other times, there's one item and I figure I'll save it until I have enough content for a post. One look at my main page shows me how well that is working out, so I'm figuring on changing my ways.

I have to admit that Facebook has shortened significantly my attention span. I read articles there on occasion, mostly political stuff, but I'm getting too used to doing status updates rather than content, although I must admit that even over there, most of what I post is links and not original thought.

So, with all that in mind, I guess I'll mention that sometimes these days I wonder if I'm loosing it. I have weird thoughts that really don't seem to be symptoms of dementia, but they aren't pleasant or empowering either. Mostly it happens at night when I go to bed. I've always been somewhat claustrophobic and wearing a mask attached to the BiPAP machine can be somewhat confining, although I've been doing it for almost 15 years. So then I have these thoughts about being trapped.

There are cases where a person can be conscious in a paralyzed body. I think most folks would agree that such a condition is scary. But the though gets out of hand when I generates a panic attack. Donna already know that I am to be sedated (or something) if I ever end up in that condition. \

Then there is stroke. Nobody wants to have a stroke. I personally saw the results of the multiple strokes my ma had before she died. Not pleasant, but for somebody like me who is used to doing what he needs to do when it needs to be done, the thought of not being able to function properly is scary.

How about this? What if there is actually some sort of consciousness after death and it is less pleasant than physical existence. What if there is awareness, but no way out. Eternity is a loooong time. The nuns use to talk about singing praise to god, but I think even that would get boring after a few billion years.

On the bright side, I believe that consciousness is brain-dependent, so I kind of dismiss some of the possibilities. But in order to dismiss them they must be thought through first, and therein lies the dilemma....

Sweet dreams until next time....