So I ate some cheese and crackers.
No where near as good as the cheese served in ripped up chunks from the top of my knee.
I ate some cheese and crackers to tide my growling stomach over until dinner.
(No doubt it will not be any where near as good as the dinner licked from waffle cones, drips caught with flexed tongues as the sun made quick work of something once cold).
My stomach needs tiding over lately.
I don’t think I’m alone.
T-minus two days.
Something secret hiding under the panties in my underwear drawer.
Biding it’s time and waiting to be opened and used discreetly during one morning rush.
It feels, already, like forever ago since we were Inn Comfort.
Wrapped up.
Like a shared Christmas gift.
Two names on the gift tag.
Impossible to rip it open.
That nation of two that all too often has a population of zero had occupants for a few short days.
And morale of the county was raised, if only temporarily.
I can still hear Celine Dion’s voice in my head.
She’s been constantly singing ever since Friday night.
Late Friday night.
Saturday morning, really.
“I drove all night…to get to you…”
Except that she sings something about making love.
And we don’t do that.
But he did drive ten hours.
Straight.
Because he was worried.
Because he loves me.
And nobody has ever done anything like that for me
Little old me
Ever
Before
In my whole life.
I’d like to say that I’m rejuvenated.
Refreshed.
And ready to begin.
That I suddenly all at once feel like myself again.
But that would be a lie.
Only because I’m not sure that anyone has the power to do that for another person.
If anyone did
It would be him.
No
I’m still not quite right.
I’m still a bit off.
I still struggle to form straight lines in thought
And also in speech.
I still fight within my own head to keep my lips above the water’s surface.
Just enough
To breathe.
But
He did remind me.
I can be happy.
I am still capable.
And THAT
Is quite the relief.

Please don’t take offense.
Please.
I have been a ghost, I know.
And I still remain a phantom
For a little while longer, at least.