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Zen, Dogs and Casco Bay
Zen, Dogs and Casco Bay
Nothing lasts.
Nothing.
The Buddhists are absolutely correct. The more of life that I experience, the more I accept the Zen tenet that everything is temporary.
Mary, Dixie and I are in Maine on this Memorial Day long weekend. Our house in Harpswell Neck overlooking the peaceful Casco Bay is always a wonderful place to come and get collected again after time spent in the work-a-day world.
Mary and I do a little yard work. She has a trellis next to a crab apple tree in the spacious back yard facing the ocean where she tends to her lupine plants and tulips. I mow the grass for about an hour, then the rest of the weekend is spent playing the hammer dulcimer, reading, writing, and just vegging out.
As I was standing on our upper deck playing my dulcimer and looking out onto the sea, I happened to glance down at my neighbor’s yard.
Karen and Jimmy’s yard is always a riot of color which emanates from their multiple and meticulous gardens. And there is always activity, conversation and laughter in the yard where Jim is constantly working on one major wood-working project or another.
However, on this particular day, something is different. Something is just a little melancholy amidst all of that gaiety.
There is an emptiness there. A void that I cannot right away identify. A vacancy. An eerie stillness. And then it strikes me; it’s Casey.
Casey is gone.
Jimmy and Karen’s five year old boxer dog is dead.
She was just the sweetest little girl that you could ever imagine! Always friendly and excited, always full of life’s energy with a tongue as big as a car wash sponge that would soak your face with appreciation and greetings.
You’ve never seen such a joyful creature in your whole life.
She sure seemed like she would live forever.
But she had meningitis.
She was put down three weeks ago.
Casey is now no more.
I remember a few months ago when a group of Buddhist monks had come to Hartford, CT to put on a display of Zen sand painting. The Hartford Courant ran a two-page spread, complete with beautiful, full-color pictures of the event.
Zen sand painting is a form of art using loose, colored sand as the medium to create elaborate and stunning designs within the confines of, for lack of a better word, a sandbox. The monks labored for days to create the pictures, meticulously pouring the sand and patiently moving it around on the "canvas" with sticks and fingers. After countless hours of close and intricate work, they produced three masterpieces that would take your breath away. However, if you wanted to view these works of art in person, you had to move quickly, because twenty-four hours after they were completed, the monks ritualistically destroyed them. Threw them to the winds. Scattered them to the four corners of the earth. The paintings were just symbols of the monks’ core belief that nothing in the universe is permanent.
All of that work! All of that beauty!
Gone!!
Nothing lasts forever.
Nothing.
No matter how much we try to make things last, the word "permanent" is not in Nature’s vocabulary.
If it’s sunny out today, rain will follow.
If a winter storm hits today, tomorrow the sun will shine and sky will be blue.
All creatures live and die.
Youth doesn’t stay.
Every sunrise is different, and as George Harrison said, it doesn’t last all day.
All things must pass.
As the song says, "All we are is dust in the wind."
I went on my morning run with Dixie this morning. The sun was coming up over beautiful Casco Bay as we ran across the rocky beach on a small spit of land that elbows out in the ocean.
I let the dog off of her leash as we ran. She stayed by my side for a few moments, then she darted into the ocean, leaping and splashing! She bit at the waves, completely submerged her entire head in the water. Yipped with what could only be described as unbridled glee.
Nobody threw a stick for her. She didn’t need it. She just played and played and played all by herself, announcing to the world all of the sheer joy that she harbored inside just for being alive.
As I watched her, I stopped running. Tears filled my eyes and thought. "Live forever, Dixie! Don’t ever go!"
Now, I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve about everything. Mary tells me that all of the time. There is nothing half-way about my emotions. (And that is a blessing and curse.)Everybody in the world knows where I stand on every topic because I feel things so passionately that I cannot keep the feelings to myself. I make a few enemies because of that. If I have an opinion on something, the whole world knows about it. (My father used to shake his head at me when I would voice opinions that angered people. He would chuckle almost to himself and say, "There you go again! You’ve just missed yet another golden opportunity to keep your goddamned mouth shut!")
So, the grief that I felt watching my beautiful little German Shepherd frolic with abandon in the waters of Casco Bay was very, very real. There was no denying the lump in my throat. My urge to hug my dog, no matter how wet she was, was uncontrollable. I didn’t care that the front of my shirt and jogging pants got soaked with sea water. I needed to feel my friend close to me at that particular instant.
I wished, for a moment, that I was like her and was completely ignorant of the fate that awaits all of us. How wonderful it must be to be completely unaware that this will not last forever. That we all will grow old. That we all die.
Then, I caught myself.
You goddamned idiot! The dog is having the time of her life! You are presently in one of the most beautiful places on the face of the earth!
You have your health! Others would kill for your life! You are loved my a wonderful woman! It’s a beautiful day! And YOU’RE IN A PLAY!
That’s the secret. – the present.
Right then, at that very moment, all of the little truisms and sayings about living life struck me for the first time as being totally relevant and extremely important. It suddenly became crystal clear to me that we must make our plans for the future, but mustn’t live for solely for them. Dreams may never reach fruition. We may never live to see them. We must enjoy and cherish the only thing that we ever really have, and that is this moment. That’s it!
The present is all that we ever really have, and it lasts less than a nano-second. By the time you realize you are in the present, THAT present is GONE!
So, I should look at Dixie and love her NOW! Look at the world, and LOVE it now. This moment will not last. It will not be here a minute from now.
Every day I wake up, I am different person. Time and experiences change me. Even the smallest, most insignificant experiences have effects on my life.
I should rejoice now! Play now! And never miss an opportunity to show or speak of love to those whom I love. I may not have another time to do so.
Therefore, if I were to give advice to anybody who asked, I would say, "Embrace life and seize the day. HUG it with all of your might, not so that you’ll never let it go, but so that you can just truly appreciate it while it’s here. Don’t wait for a better time to do it; there may not ever be one.
Appreciate this sand painting that is your present reality right this very second. Love it with your WHOLE HEART right now!
"It will be blowing in the wind before the next hour passes, and it will never, ever come back."
posted on May 27, 2008 4:53 AM ()
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Jim, while I was off, I read all of your posts, and this one is the hardest to respond to. It is so true... all we have is the present and we must make the most of it. Wonderful, helpful advise! Thank you for your wisdom... 
) love reading your stuff. Ya know, I probably never loved anyone as much as my Grandma but when she died I didn't cry. My Cocker spainel "Lil Bit" died and I wept like a little girl. Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once, "The more I meet people, the better I like my dog." 
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