This is from the Dallas Morning News.

Man I wish I could make this stuff up.

DALLAS – A robber rolled into a Dallas convenience store came armed with a bat and a knife. He left with a lot of condoms and an energy drink.

Dallas police Cpl. Kevin Janse said Friday that a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven Wednesday afternoon, rolled straight toward the cash register and beat it with a baseball bat until it opened.

But he didn't grab any cash. Instead, police say he stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway Wednesday afternoon.

Janse says the suspect may have been homeless and was likely intoxicated at the time of the robbery.

I don’t know if he was drunk when he did this-but it sounds like he had a plan. As for the police-how hard could it be to find a guy in a wheel chair with 10 boxes of condoms swigging a can of Red Bull.

I don’t know about you, but I wish the guy luck.

Got this in my emails this morning. I have to agree with most of it.

Drafting Guys over   54

  ----this is so Funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier---- 

New Direction for any war:  Send Service Vets over 60! 

I am over 54 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.  Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.  You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.  Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. 

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!  I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a .m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell.  Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b$^#%!.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.  In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.  We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food.  We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.  I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. 

I can hear the Drill Sgt. In the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... er . One.'

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world  ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, and how to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.  He still  hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. 

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. 

The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million really ANGRY old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured  the first night!  

Share this with your senior friends.  It's purposely in big type so  they can all  read it.

Ya all have a good un.