In spite of, maybe because of, CHF ,COPD, PAD, HB and a few other initial
diagnosis, I was doing pretty good. My weight was the lowest it had
been since I left Memphis in 1979, I was working making good money, I
still had my beloved 1973 Chevy Caprice red convertible and movies,
theatre and eating out were all part of my daily living. The fact that I
was once again charging too much, mostly regarding the car, sort of
got to me once in awhile but, obviously, not enough to stop it. I
rationalized that in May I was in the hole for $215 but was ahead for
the year.
In may I was once again in the hospital with the vascular surgeon putting a stent in my left leg with the warning that the veins were tightening up to
the point he may not be able to do that in the future, that I had to
stop smoking, that though he thought I did a great job with the weight I
was hitting the cholesterol too much. He told me to keep the count
below the 300 milligram mark.
Out
of the blue I got a call from Steven, who I had 'dumped' for Bill many
years ago, and we went out for a pleasant dinner but that 'spark' or
whatever it is wasn't there anymore. He was still tied up with his kids
which I wasn't interested in and--I don't say it proudly or
ashamedly--we had 'been there, done that' and it was old hat to me.
Monogamy has never been, will never be a part of me and I was open and
honest about it from the very beginning with anyone I met. Did it hurt
me? Did I miss out? I don't know and I don't think so. Though many gays,
along with many nongays,
look down on me because of that attitude I don't care as I felt I was
not straight and didn't have to imitate them. Gay men had a reputation
for being promiscuous and (once again I will get in trouble for saying
this) but I, me, myself, IMO, have never known two men to be faithful to
each other. That is a whole other book I think John Rechy explained very well in one of his.
In
June 2001 I saw "Moulin Rouge" who 12 years later, almost to the month,
the same director Baz Luhrmann and if nothing else I am consistant as
he seems to be. My review for that film is basically the review I gave
for Gatsby which was "different, crazy, innoventive and boring. I am
glad I saw it but won't see it again!"
A
very strange thing happened at the end of June. When my mother died my
brother had sent me some Savings Bonds that had been in her and my name
for years and I cashed them in. Going through some papers I found 3
bonds among them. Each was for $200 taken out a long time ago and when I
went to cash them in I got $3,036!!!! My next notes are, "Got new
mattress and frame and spent--paid cash--$1800. I did have to change the
king size bed for a queen size one as with the former I wouldn't be
able to move around my bedroom!"
The
rest of the year was uneventful though I was spending too much money
but there was nothing new about that. In October I started taking cash
advances from my credit cards and I made a note about seeing bankruptcy
ahead.
2002 would bring more changes in my life including birds and retirement!
this time had blockage in neck so the scans say , saw same specialist and got a very large explanation why at age 76 it would not be worth doing the operation . have another brain scan this Saturday to see whether i have had ----wait for it---any mini strokes in my sleep. evidently it happens