I fall under the horoscope sign of cancer the crab. I have often fit many of the profiles that describe Cancers as emotional highs, lows, moody, loyal, family oriented etc. My latest horoscope said that I have loyalty in love. My daily OM said that "Expressions of devotion signal that our affectionate intentions are enduring. We demonstrate that our feelings will remain strong through good times and bad, free from the influence of those forces that seek to drive people apart. In confidence, our loved ones can open themselves to us, assured of our sincerity and our overwhelming tenderness." I remember with fondness the little things my husband and I used to do for each other to show devotion. Making a meal I knew he would like, buying him a favorite piece of candy, renting a movie I knew he wanted to see. I know the little things I would do for him but can't think of the things he would do for me. I am sure he did them, I just didn't focus on them. I would focus on the negatives. I regret that and know that I will work very hard to appreciate the things he does now. Although we are not going to be married anymore, I do intend to continue to do nice things for him. The kids and I bought him cinnamon bears and chocolate mints at the beach. He is a part of my life and I can't forget him. I miss the person I used to be. Somewhere I quit doing those little things for him. It will be difficult to move forward without him but I know I don't have a choice. A woman at church this morning asked if there was any chance for us. It breaks my heart to have to say no. I can feel in my heart that he is done with me! It brings to tears to my eyes to think about the end. The emotional roller coaster is so hard. It must be the cancer in me! That emotional high and low. I really am trying to be strong for my children but I am an emotional wreck. Despite the bad choice of the last year, I really am that loving person that looks for affectionate intentions. I need those in my life, I wish I didn't but I do. I really wish I could turn back time to a year and a half ago and do things differently. Regrets are worthless I know. But I do realize now that I do love my husband and now it is too late! I will be loyal in love with the people I have left in my life!