It looks like a picture book or a movie of a snow storm with perfect snow flakes. And it sure would be great if I didn't have to....

1. drive in it

Marissa is at a sleep over and needed her inhaler.

2. shovel it

I keep thinking of the exercise I'm getting, but a little part of me wants to cry too. I've gone out 3 times to shovel tonight and there is still a plenty to be done (and did I mention it's still snowing)!

I definitely have learned already in just the 2 or 3 snow storms we've had so far, that I have NOT been appreciative enough of not having to shovel. And also appreciative to those who either did it for me, snow blowed it or paid to have somebody plow it (and we'd just do the walks).

Kev and I have spent some quality time together (in between me shoveling and cleaning...I have so much trouble just sitting and doing one thing for any length of time. We started to watch a movie, we listened to music, we colored, we talked about God. Kev was asking me some questions. He's so cute (sometimes). He seems to be having a great day/ night. I'm sure it probably helps that he's having alone time with me and no other kids are here to compete with or fight with.

G carpools to work with his brother(about 40 miles away). He went to a company work party after work at his boss' house. I personally would've preferred him not out (especially so far) on a night like this. The roads aren't even plowed. However, it wasn't my choice. Nor was it completely his idea- since his brother was driving. Anyway, it's 9:30 and he just recently called to say they were one there way.

I think I'm feeling some old fears and leftover reactions to past events tonight. Wow, that's a mouth and mind-full! I mean I feel slightly angry and abandoned. I know that I'm reacting to "how things always were in the past" instead of what they are tonight (just here and now). Originally I told him to go to the party. I mean, of course! It's his work party. And I go do things with my sister sometimes. It's healthy to spend some time apart. But for me the weather is a factor and just maybe, there is a wee small possibility that I am feeling abandoned and angry because in the past I've been alone too often. Believe it or not, this is really the first social thing he's done by himself since he moved in last Summer. That's good for him to do. But the roads are bad and ...I'm tired of shoveling so that when he does get home he can get in the driveway.

(I still love you bunches though babe! I know you'll read this eventually and know that I grumbled about you in my blog!) You're worrying me baby and I hate having you not home with me! Especially on a Friday night (pizza and wing night) ...and at 10:00! It's cuddle time love!


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