glitter-graphics.comRain on the tin roof made for a good night's sleep but the flash flooding was enough to cancel the first day of the horse races at the Saratoga Race Track. More importantly for me personally is the likelihood that it will yet again postpone our building project inside the house.

Inside my home, life is a dream. It's hard to believe that this is really "my life" I'm living. Being "in love" is so amazing and I can't believe I had mistaken love now that I really know what it is.

Outside my home, things are the same. It's been three days since contact with my mother. G even wrote her a long, heart felt e-mail with his intentions that I thought she would really like...but no response from her. I hate that one of her "moods" is already affecting the extended family relationship that we could be and wanted to build. The ex never wanted to spend time with family and it's so nice to be with someone who values family. They're only here for the Summer though and it is definitely her loss that she won't have that time to get to know G, see how happy our new family is and even to spend some time with the grand kids before leaving again. All winter she talks how she misses us and this and that she'll do when she's home. But when she's home, she has to work (not in Fla. though) so we don't see her much and all she talks about is how she can't wait to leave for Florida again.

(addendum: she wrote back. It was a nasty letter. I could feel the tone right away and didn't need to read the whole thing. She puts it all on me, saying I think the whole world is against me)

My Gram is also not talking to me even though it is over something really silly from like 3 weeks ago and I had talked to her like three times since then, but she apparently had forgot! And since she forgot, I have again called her once to talk to her and left two other messages for her plus emailed her (worried about her health and dr. visits)...with no response.

I hate having people that I love especially mad at me. It weighs awful heavy on my heart. It makes nothing as happy as it could be. It makes the air feel like it's smothering me.