Yesterday my Gram got news that they are going to need to take half of her finger off next week. Two months ago they did surgery and removed a big lump in her finger that turned out to be cancer. This scared her a lot, as it would anyone. Gram has already has a mastectomy about eight years ago and has been on an anti-cancer medicine every since. Well... in the two months since the surgery her finger hasn't healed up. And last week they removed another mass which again turned out to be cancer. So they're removing down to the knuckle and will check it every two months to be sure that there isn't more cancer. Isn't that the oddest place ever? I really just pray this will be the end of it for her. She's been through enough.

Today I had the day off from work but it definitely didn't feel like a day off. I brought Kev to school and then I had a dr. appointment just to review my meds and such. I went over to Mom's and we ate lunch together and chatted for a while. I went to the bank, Target for some necessities and then I cleaned the house for about an hour before it was time to pick Kev up from school. Andy (G's son) wanted to go with me. It was cute. Tonight was also Andy's dance night and while he danced, me and the kids walked around the dollar store for a bit.

I had to have a talk with A today about him starting to pay me support again. I hated to do it, I hate to need it...but I do and it was what was agreed on and signed. I was surprised he didn't try to bash me or give me a hard time about it at all (like the last time I tried broaching the subject). He just said he'd start paying me. I mean I know he really doesn't have a choice in the matter, but he could have been a jerk about it- and he wasn't. That's awesome. The worse thing will be that he's saying he'll have to sell the house- which I know... but he's also saying that I should plan for the fact that he won't be able to stay there for the winter and will be looking for an apartment. He says that he'll put it on the market but when he finds a place to move to, he'll stop paying on it and let it go into foreclosure until it sells. Now keep in mind that this house is in my name and I've tried hard to make it possible for him to keep the house. Honestly though, my hands are in the air! What happens..happens and I don't want and couldn't afford the house. My credit is already crap and the truth of the matter is- I highly doublt he'll move. I think if it comes down to it, he'd get a room-mate before moving. He is not the apartment type. He hates having neighbors, he likes to do what he wants to do -when he wants to do it. And furthermore...it looks to me like he can afford it. In the time I've given up my right to support, he's got a new plasma screen tv, stereo, livingroom furnishings and another new wardrobe.

I feel really crappy tonight. I have a headache, I'm anxious, I keep chewing the inside of my cheek....I could go on but you get the picture.

Thank God tomorrow's Friday and thank God some more that Saturday night is an alone night for me and my love!

glitter-graphics.com