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Southwestern Woman

Home & Garden > Shut Down

Shut Down

Life has pretty much shut down here because we had 4 and a half inches of snow on Wed. Schools were cancelled and a lot of offices shut down. My friends surgery was also was an eye lift so not urgent. Jose actually walked out into it looking for just the right spot to pee and it came up to his back Needless to say, the right spot appeared very soon. Ted is so depressed over his brother's worsening condition that he just can't talk about it. It is his favorite of the five brothers and the one we were both closest to. My sister in law is an RN and she is caring for him at home. They have hospice and their two daughters go every weekend to stay and help out. He has a laundry list of ailments, cancer, Parkinsons, dementia with wild hallucinations and diabetes. It was also the brother and SIL that I am most close to. I can comfort myself with the fact that while he was still lucid, I told him that I never had a brother but he had come to fill that role and that we both loved him and were there for him. He knew us monday but slept most of the time we were there. We took lunch and books and wine, chocolate and make up for Nova. She has to order groceries and only gets out when the girls are there on weekends. It has become easier now that he can no longer walk and try to find home. It was so pitiful when he kept begging people to take him home. He didn't recognize that he was at home in the house he had built himself. The stress and constant fretting have made them both lose a lot of weight and they no longer eat hardly any thing. Hospice has his medications balanced and now the hallucinations are much better. My SIL is heroic. I don't think I could do it but she is determined to keep him at home until the end. Their daughters are the bright spot on weekends that keep her going. They stay and let her get out a little, just going to Walmart is a treat for her.

posted on Feb 6, 2020 4:17 AM ()


Your reply is above. I forgot to ask you about the brother that you went to see Christmas before last. I hope he is recovered if possible.
comment by elderjane on Feb 9, 2020 1:03 PM ()
She is remarkable! When I had surgery she stayed at the hospital with me and came every day, washed my nighties and helped the nurses move me around. She is pure gold.
comment by elderjane on Feb 9, 2020 12:58 PM ()
Kristy, how is your brother?
reply by elderjane on Feb 9, 2020 1:00 PM ()
For those who take care of the sick
comment by drmaus on Feb 9, 2020 12:46 PM ()
It is very hard on Nova but she is a good nurse and very patient.
reply by elderjane on Feb 9, 2020 12:55 PM ()
I am totally empathetic with what your SIL is going through and the pain you are all feeling. Nothing is worse than watching someone you love lose himself. You know I've been there. xx, T
comment by tealstar on Feb 7, 2020 10:48 PM ()
Yes, I know and you were able to keep your husband at home and well cared for until he was gone. Loss of a loved one is hard to deal with but if you know you have done all that you can, it is a comfort.
reply by elderjane on Feb 8, 2020 4:31 AM ()
Nova has been like a sister to me and I love her dearly. She takes wonderful care of David. being a nurse helps and she told me now that he can't walk and try to escape it is a lot easier. ted is so depressed from going out there and seeing how far gone David is that he has hardly been out of bed since Monday.
comment by elderjane on Feb 7, 2020 3:43 AM ()
Damn, if I don't go in a fatal car crash I hope I am able to make my final exit on my own terms. That's an awful situation for everyone involved.
comment by jjoohhnn on Feb 6, 2020 8:16 AM ()
Yes, it is horrible, I admire my SIL more than I can say.
reply by elderjane on Feb 7, 2020 3:28 AM ()
So grateful for hospice at times like this....
Holding you all in Light
and surrounding you with caring support
as you live with such deepening heartache.
comment by marta on Feb 6, 2020 4:41 AM ()
Hospice has been such a source of comfort. they come out and give David his showers and are just generally helpful.
reply by elderjane on Feb 7, 2020 3:31 AM ()
That sounds both amazing and terribly sad. What a woman to do her best to keep her husband home and taken care of, but wow that must be SO hard for all of you that know him. I’m thinking of you
comment by kristilyn3 on Feb 6, 2020 4:29 AM ()

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