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Southwestern Woman

Health & Fitness > Cancer > Drowning.


This has to the dreariest of days. It has been drizzling since early morning and is enough to convince any sceptic of climate change. I did however, manage to walk Jose before it started. He saw a beagle across the street and immediately tried to convince it that he was ready to kill. He was a bit overmatched. There is no way to hurry Jose, he likes to take his own sweet time even though there was thunder rumbling in the distance. I have a lot to read but I am not in the mood. I am staying as far away from Ted as possible because he is hooking up a new dvd player and I do not wish to be involved. I did some online shopping at TJMaxx for summer shirts and got a new pair of not your daughters jeans. I love that store and also Last Call. Ordering on line suits me because I am pretty true to store sizing and seldom have to return anything. I cut and colored my hair yesterday and it came out well. Ted was convinced I would ruin it. My beauty shop bill is 0 and he gets Christina to cut his about twice a month. He is a good tipper so it is a pricey business and I am sure she loves him. We are trying to help my SIL in any way we can. Evidently the cancer treatments triggered Ted's brother's dementia. He is so out of it and keeps begging to go home. He is home in a beautiful house that he built from the ground up. His workmanship is exquisite, particularly in the dining room where he made cabinets around the pass through to the kitchen. He also made a Kiva fireplace that is beautiful. This is so sad and my SIL is so isolated out there in the country that she wants to sell the house and move to town, particularly since he is unhappy there. They have stopped the cancer treatments and they have hospice. Their girls spend every weekend with them and that helps. They didn't get to live their dream but a few years and then cancer happened and caused the dementia. Getting old really sucks. You can plan but fate intervenes.

posted on June 23, 2019 2:10 PM ()


While I remember having to reassure confused patients, it's nothing to when it's your own family member, and illness increases their mental distress. They might try having handy photos of house or kids that he would definitely recognize, try to direct his attention to those.
comment by drmaus on June 25, 2019 6:59 AM ()
this would be helpful. This came on so suddenly. We think the radiation
treatments for cancer may have hurried the dementia. There is Alzheimer's in the family, Ted's mother suffered for nearly ten years from it.
reply by elderjane on June 26, 2019 4:48 AM ()
Gary does that 'stay away' thing to me when I have some technical challenge at hand. I can see him lurking on the edge of the room out of the corner of my eye, trying to make himself invisible.
comment by traveltales on June 24, 2019 7:37 PM ()
I can just picture Gary trying to become invisible.
reply by elderjane on June 25, 2019 5:12 AM ()
I am so sorry that your SIL and her husband have to endure this.Losing oneself is the most tragic of endings. She has my sympathy.
comment by tealstar on June 23, 2019 9:22 PM ()
It is so hard to see and so little we can do, other than give my poor Sil
some time. He cannot be left alone. David isn't David any more.
reply by elderjane on June 24, 2019 4:47 AM ()
Oh man...
I’m sorry to hear all of this.
comment by kristilyn3 on June 23, 2019 5:17 PM ()
It came on so rapidly...within two months and is so severe with constant
hallucinations. I love him like a brother and his wife is my favorite Sil. She is an RN so copes better than most but I don't know how long she will be able to stand this because she is small and frail.
reply by elderjane on June 26, 2019 4:51 AM ()
I know you are Kristy. Just don't put off any of today's pleasures for tomorrow!
reply by elderjane on June 24, 2019 4:49 AM ()

I am very grateful that I have a list of seven or eight diagnoses which aren't directly life-threatening. I figure that everybody gets something and I already have my share so I'm safe. I was always taught to "save for a rainy day" and I'm trying to convince myself that it's drizzling. There's a pricey instrument that I really want but it's not easy for me to put down a chunk of change. I'll not be RVing across the country so I might as well at least have a RAV. BTW, We have had two beautiful sunny days in a row with another scheduled for tomorrow--it will get better out there.
comment by jjoohhnn on June 23, 2019 3:19 PM ()
You and Donna know all about respite care and that is all we can do, besides being thoughtful in every way we can think of to take care of our
SIL. Buy that instrument and live life to the full because today is all
we can be certain of.
reply by elderjane on June 24, 2019 4:55 AM ()

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