Nic G

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Username:
ducky
Name:
Nic G
Location:
Tampa, FL
Birthday:
11/11
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Prefer Not To Say
Job / Career:
Insurance

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Welcome To The Dollhouse

Entertainment > Humor > Advertisements
 

Advertisements

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.



Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!


Illiterate? Write today for free help

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

posted on July 1, 2008 4:41 PM ()

Comments:

I forgot to say thank you!
comment by thestephymore on July 7, 2008 6:33 PM ()
comment by panthurdreams on July 7, 2008 3:39 PM ()
you should send some of them to Jay Leno! He has a skit called HEADLINES. That would be funny!!
comment by dogenthusiast on July 3, 2008 6:15 AM ()


For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Thats Mine!!
comment by shesaidwhat on July 2, 2008 2:52 PM ()
It always tickles my funny bone to see what a few misplaced modifiers and misspelled words can do to a sentence. Good post, Ducky!!
comment by redimpala on July 1, 2008 6:10 PM ()
These have got to be real. You couldn't make them up!
comment by sunlight on July 1, 2008 5:35 PM ()
I love these kinds of things. It is amazing the grammatical errors there are.
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on July 1, 2008 4:50 PM ()

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