1 - Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2 - You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3 - There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4 - Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5 - Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6 - Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7 - The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8 - The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9 - Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10 - Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
11 - Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12 - Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13 - Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14 - I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15 - Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16 - All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
17 - If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
18 - One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
19 - By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
20 - Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
21 - The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
22 - There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
23 - This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
24 - Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
25 - The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.