Amazon is deliberately slowing or stopping certain nonessential orders, to get food and pharmacy orders filled faster. That’s good. I see CVS now has thermometers in the store, I should get one.

The cold-or-whatever plus bronchitis I’ve had is a little better because my cough reflex is being controlled. The medications make me woozy, though.

I don’t if others experience this, but in the rare instances I’m very sick, and run down and worried, I regress. I mean, there are definite moments when you feel panic of impending doom, because you simply cannot catch your breath, or that you’re about to aspirate and choke. Depending on what kind of sickness you have. Mine are usually upper-respiratory. Those moments of fear usually go away fast. No, I’m thinking of those more embarrassing moments, like when I start believing I don’t deserve to have health insurance or deserve to have a doctor take care of me without being skeptical of all my symptoms. In fact, anytime I have a doctor’s appointment, I feel as if I’m going to court to try to argue my case. I don’t think doctors will believe me.

And I know they’re supposed to be stringent with painkillers, so I have to present a case to get any if I’m in pain. I think I can count on one hand the times I’ve gotten a scrip for pain.

So I was in tears when the doctor was thoughtful enough to go call to get prices of the prescriptions because she knew I had no insurance. It’s not good to cry while you’re wearing a mask.

Sometimes I hate this country. I haven’t been sure whether to prioritize a car or health insurance, but the choice isn’t really there. I can’t even get health insurance until January.